


willows

by rappedRomcoms



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: but the plot will stay relatively the same!!, im revising willows since i wasnt satisfied with the first chapters, warrior cats fanstory yeah babey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 11:12:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14669910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rappedRomcoms/pseuds/rappedRomcoms
Summary: Eight cats must face more than they're ready for, or could have ever been prepared for.





	1. herbs and apples

**Author's Note:**

> hey so yall know i already wrote willows!!! but only a few chapters- and i wasnt really satisfied with them. so ill be rewriting them and continuing off of there!!!!

When you wake up, it’s supposed to be a bit refreshing. You’ve had a good night’s sleep, and you’re ready to face the new day with more energy than the last.

 

Nothing is less refreshing than waking up in an unknown place, he thinks. The strange feeling was, he felt as if he’s been here before, as if his paws had tread over the same soil where he stood now. Looking down, he saw that his paws were covered in some thick, starry fluid that seemed to pulsate with every breath he took. It was crawling up his fur, up to the top of his front legs. He scrambled backwards in a terrified attempt to rid himself of the substance, but it seemed to be enveloping him- his ears were clogged, and his hearing was muffled. 

 

He looked around desperately, shaking wildly. There were cats surrounding him, with pelts made of glowing stars, and eyes that were completely blank. They spoke around him, but he couldn’t hear at all. Whenever he looked at one, they’d look away guiltily. He began to cry out to them more, but the louder that his voice became, the more starry tar would flow from his mouth and onto the ground.

 

Choking, he laid down. He’d given up. He looked at his paws as he laid on his side, and then past them. It was odd how he’d never given a good look at the earth under his feet- the grass under his paws was being robbed of it’s life, shriveling faster than he could comprehend. He couldn’t stand seeing this death, seeing these flowers wilt, and looking up provided no comfort either. The moon was slowly being covered by thick, winding branches, with terrible glowing eyes among them.

 

The cats among him lost their glowing phantasmal shapes- it was as if the skin was falling off of them to reveal starving, blood-covered skeletal cats. The air turned sharp, and chilled him to the bone. The cats began to advance, the thick substance on his paws turned a crimson red, he was choking on blood that  _ couldn’t _ have been his own, there was too much-

 

Pumpkinsneeze woke up.

 

He took a deep breath, trying to calm his panicked heart and smooth his fur down. He’d never had a dream so vivid in his entire apprenticeship, but now that Ivyjumper was gone, he supposed he should have expected them. She always told him that medicine cats got visions now and then, but he hadn’t expected them to be so... vivid.

 

He missed his mentor more than he could put into words. She’d always been able to deal with things like this calmly, and with a level head. He shouldn’t be overreacting so much, he’d always heard that StarClan sent visions all the time. As an apprentice, he’d always hear the medicine cat of SplashClan, Rushingleaf, complain about how they were getting too many omens that hardly meant anything.

 

_ “It was an omen for a sprained paw on one of our apprentices, and it healed perfectly fine. I wish they’d sent a warning for how loud Pinepaw’s cries would be when I set it, though. Nonetheless, I don’t know why StarClan is even bothering with these stupid omens. We can handle minimal things by ourselves, do they take us for fools?” Rushingleaf muttered, kneading their paws into the tender earth of the Moon Willow. Their fur was starting to bristle, so Muddypelt rested his tail on their shoulder. _

 

_ “It’s been happening for us too,” the medicine cat of EchoClan sighed. “I talked to Batstar about the omen, and it happened to be that one or two pieces of prey were rotting. It was late newleaf, and prey was running swiftly and fat in the tunnels. We would have noticed the rotting eventually.” _

 

_ “Here, too!” ScorchClan’s medicine cat, Mousefire, seemed to love hopping into conversations any time she could. “Part of camp was burning, as it sometimes does, but this one was a bit larger than usual- we thought we’d have to run out of camp till the rain came, you know! So we left just in case, for a bit. And like, when we came back, all that was ruined was a burnt mouse. All it was was a sign that my name should be Mousefire, and Rainfeather was gonna name me that anyways, weren’tcha?” _

 

_ Pumpkinpaw tuned out the murmurs of the eldest medicine cats as he turned to his friends- Slippaw of SplashClan and Cavernpaw of EchoClan. The three apprentices shared a look, as if to say  _ “older cats, am I right?”  _ and burst into a fit of giggles. _

 

That night was the night that Pumpkinsneeze got his full name. Cavernpaw was excited, flicking his tail in a way that signaled a  _ “congratulations!”  _ while Slippaw was fuming. It was a night filled with jokes and fun, and Pumpkinsneeze remembered the night fondly. But on a more important matter, the chatter of the medicine cats proved to him that these types of things do happen, and quite often. He thanked the stars that they’d spoken of it on a memorable night, or else he might’ve forgotten. And by extent, he’d be much more anxious.

 

Brushing off his dream- it was surely nothing, he assured himself- he stretched his short legs and padded out of his den.

 

The light was blinding. Why did the medicine cat’s den have to be in one of the only parts of TangleClan’s camp that the trees didn't cover with their shade? He supposed it was to keep the sick cats warmer, but it certainly backfired when heatstroke stirred up in greenleaf.

 

Despite the sudden light flashing in his eyes every time he exited camp, and the occasional situation of his long fur being stuck on a lone branch, he truly loved the camp. It was overrun by beautiful plants, and the clearing was surrounded by thick trees that reached to the sky. Mushrooms grew along the damp, mossy bark of the great hallowed tree in the middle of the camp; that was where Skunkstar lived, in the thick branches covered in vines.

 

The warrior’s den was in it’s shade, partially underground. The entrance was in the roots of the looming tree. When he was training as a warrior apprentice, he was always terrified of that den. He’d always had a fear of drowning, due to his thick fur holding him deep underwater, and as a kit, he’d experienced a huge rainstorm. The warrior’s den had flooded and his father’s pelt was too heavy and long to let him escape in time. Pumpkinsneeze hadn’t known Brackendawn for long, and due to the storm, he supposed now he never would.

 

It was a great relief when Ivyjumper asked him to be her apprentice. He’d never have to sleep in the warrior’s den now, and though the thought was a bit childish, he was thankful nonetheless. 

 

A pang shot through his heart as he thought of his mentor, and he did his best to push it down. He couldn’t focus on that right now, he had work to do. He’d probably send out an herb patrol later, once he did his daily checks of the piles to see what he’d need a refill on.

 

Though the herb piles weren’t the only piles that had his focus right now- padding to the fresh-kill pile, the orange tabby flicked his tail in hello to a passing warrior, and picked up a fresh thrush. With the bird safely in his maw, he padded to the elder’s den.

 

Across the camp, in the safest hideway and the only other part of TangleClan where the sun shone brightly, resided the elder’s den, and next to it, the nursery. He brushed past the vines and the sticks protecting the entrance of the den, and padded into the dry cavern where the elders rested. Leafrustle and Hawklight were sharing tongues, but Owlwisher was all alone.

 

“Hi, Owlwisher,” Pumpkinsneeze greeted through a mouthful of feathers. “Brought you your favourite.”

 

His parent looked up and gave him a soft smile. “Thank you, dear. Come lie with me, and tell me of your day so far.”   
  
Pumpkinsneeze dropped the bird near them, and felt a twinge of guilt as he replied. “I’m sorry, I just woke up, I have to do my duties. It’s sunrise, Owlwisher.”

 

The brown tabby frowned, their green eyes narrowing. “Is it? I could have sworn it was midday already. Go have fun then, Pumpkinpaw, and tell Stripefur that he should come share tongues with me before he goes on patrol.”

 

As with every day, this was the hardest part of visiting his parent. It seemed to be getting worse each day. “Owlwisher, Stripefur left us a long time ago, when Mintpaw and Oatpaw were born, remember? And it’s Pumpkinsneeze now, you know this.”   
  
And as if the world loved to follow a daily routine, Owlwisher’s eyes glazed over. “Hm. Well, tell him to come back soon, alright now, son? Pouncekit and Elmkit need their father, too.”

 

When Pumpkinsneeze licked his parent goodbye, they began once again to ramble to the kits they’d lost in the fox attack, along with their father. But he couldn’t get choked up now. As he’d said previously, he had work to do.

 

\- - - - -

 

The mumbling of the apprentices was beginning to annoy him. It was difficult sorting herbs with so many distractions; today a few apprentices had a day off, due to doing their duties so well the day before. It wasn’t as bad as it was in the night time- they’d always stay up late and talk about crushes, or who got the best hunt that day. Even with the barrier of earth between them, the medicine cats would always hear them chattering, and there had been more than one occasion where Ivyjumper had to stalk over and tell them to hush up.

 

It was even worse when an apprentice was in the medicine den for an injury or illness; they’d practically shout at each other through the wall between the dens. Pumpkinsneeze did have to admit, although it was annoying, it was endearing too. 

 

His thoughts continued as he sorted tansy from the marigold. They were definitely running low on the latter, as well as coltsfoot, borage leaves, and chervil. When he assembled an herb patrol, he’d definitely have to get everyone to focus on those.

 

The herbs spilled out of Pumpkinsneeze’s paws as he jumped. A dark brown kit had barreled into the medicine den, her small paws moving around nervously.

 

“Pumpkinsneeze, Pumpkinsneeze!” Pearkit cried. “Thornkit’s got something in his paw, I think it’s a thorn! He says it feels real deep!”

 

She turned to face the direction of her brother, who was yowling wildly in the clearing. 

 

_ He’s going to wake cats from the dead, with all that howling! _ he thought. 

 

“Hm, ironic, for the name,” he joked with a smile, turning to the storage to collect cobwebs. He doubted that the wound would become infected, if it was so recent, and just a thorn. Trotting out of the den with Pearkit behind him, he shot a friendly gaze at Thornkit. 

 

“Thornkit, please show me your paw. I’d like to take a look at it.”

 

Lifting his front paw, he sniffled. “I-is it gonna be o-okay? W-w-will it h-have to be chopped off?!”

 

Pumpkinsneeze winced as the kit became more and more panicked. He’d always had a tough time communicating, and it was hard to talk to kits who wouldn’t understand half of his words. It was hard to calm injured kits down, but thankfully, Pearkit rested her tail on her brother’s shoulder to comfort him, which seemed to work.

 

“Of course not, Thornkit. But I will have to take out your namesake that’s embedded in you.” He laughed to himself, but stopped awkwardly as the kits looked at him in confusion. 

 

_ Guess they didn’t get the joke, _ he wondered to himself.

 

“Anyways, is that okay? When I pull it out, you’re gonna have to lick your paw, to make sure it doesn’t get infected.”

 

When the kit nodded, Pumpkinsneeze bent down and plucked the thorn from the tom’s small paw. Thornkit let out a yelp and began to lick frantically. When he finished, Pumpkinsneeze wrapped cobwebs around the injured paw, just to be safe.

 

“Now, I’d say you’re fine, but try to be easy on your paw, alright? I don’t want it opening up aga-” the orange tom cut himself off. Thornkit and Pearkit had already dashed off, doing StarClan knows what. They’d probably find Applekit, to complete their terrible trio. The two kits idolized him, and he was quick to rope them into any mischievous plans he’d created. He hoped they wouldn’t get hurt- the medicine den was already running out of herbs, even despite the growth of greenleaf. 

 

If he was being honest, he was just too unmotivated to go searching. He’d been grieving for Ivyjumper, and it seemed like everything he did reminded him of his mentor. He was recovering, albeit slowly, but every time he thought of her, he’d try to push the thoughts out of his head, just so he wouldn’t have to feel the pain. The time that was taken away from her by the foxes in newleaf would forever anger him, but he knew she’d want him to let it go.

 

And so, shaking the leaves out of his fluffy pelt, he began to pad into the clearing. He’d need to assemble some warriors, and to do that, he’d have to talk to Rosebudjumper. Talking to the deputy still gave him chills; they were a fierce, strong cat, and even though Pumpkinsneeze was older now, the days of his apprenticeship still rang clearly in his mind. Those days were mostly filled with Rosebudjumper saying they’d claw the ears off of any apprentice who slept in. They would never actually do it, but it certainly did the trick in getting the cats out of their nests.

 

“Rosebudjumper!” he called to the cat grooming themself near the fallen tree where meetings and ceremonies were held. “I’d like to assemble an herb patrol, could you lend me some warriors? I definitely need extra paws.”

 

The slender deputy simply nodded, called the names of a few warriors, and smiled as Pumpkinsneeze fidgeted around in their gaze. “Oh, please, you don’t still believe those nursery tales, do you? I don’t bite.”

 

Pumpkinsneeze shuffled his paws and looked around nervously. “Oh, of course not, I just have some business to attend to…”

 

“Aren’t you taking a patrol?” they tilted their head in confusion.

 

“Ah, yes, of course.”  _ Oh, real smooth of you. Can’t even make a good anxiety-fueled escape, huh? _

 

Rosebudjumper’s ears perked up as they turned to the assembling cats. “There they are. Be safe out there.” With a flick of their tail, they stepped  away as the warriors walked over to Pumpkinsneeze.

 

“Oh, StarClan, an herb patrol, are you serious?” a soft voice mewled to another, who replied in the same annoyed tone.

 

“Ugh, I know, right?”

 

“Stempaw, Slugpaw, shut up, won’t you?” an exasperated voice snapped at the twins. “This is an important duty.”

 

Whimsywillow giggled at the annoyed tone of her mate, Heatherheart, while Pricklelight laughed quietly. 

 

“Aw, c’mon, Stempaw, don’tcha think this’ll be fun? You’ll be able to find some neat stuff, and hey, if you do well, I can take you hunting later!”

 

Whimsywillow seemed to talk to everyone excitedly, and her sassy apprentice seemed to be included in the “everyone”, no matter how hard she fought against it. Stempaw opened her mouth to reply, but Pumpkinsneeze cut her off before she could create more drama than necessary.

 

“Okay, so, now that you’re all here, we should get going. I’d say our best bet for finding the herbs would be the farm border. Do you know what we’re looking for?”

 

The apprentices and Whimsywillow shook their heads, so he pulled out the remains of the herbs they needed to find and let them take a sniff. Whimsywillow took a deep breath, and choked it off. It was clear she was disgusted by the bitter scent, but she was courteously trying to hide her distaste. The apprentices weren’t so considerate.

 

“Aw, yuck!” Slugpaw gagged and reeled back. “These smell awful, and I bet they taste even worse! I’d rather clean the elders with mousebile than have any of that near me!”

 

“Stop overreacting, Slugpaw, you’ll get used to them. And you know, you’ll have to eat herbs that are even more bitter once the leader takes you to the ceremony at the Moon Willow. Travelling herbs are quite awful.” Heatherheart’s exhausted attitude was clearly shattering- even though he could be a pawful, it was clear that she loved her apprentice. “Let’s head out now, shall we?”

 

Pumpkinsneeze nodded, and let her take the lead. She’d definitely be a great deputy, and would most likely be Skunkstar’s pick if anything happened to Rosebudjumper. 

 

Heatherheart flicked her tail and motioned for the patrol to move. The territory near the farm was significantly smoother than the twisting plants in the rest of TangleClan, so the walk was generally easy. As they neared the farm borders, Pumpkinsneeze took a deep breath. He loved the scent of his home, but the smell of the plants always invigorated him. 

 

The farm slowly moved into the view of the cats, and the cows let out loud “moos”. Whimsywillow mewed happily in reply.

 

Heatherheart halted before sniffing the air. Once she assured herself that there were no dangers in the area, she turned to the rest of the patrol.

 

“Okay, everyone, split up, but try to stay within this general area. And Pumpkinsneeze, what if we find something you didn’t list, but we think it could help?”

 

He shrugged, feeling uncomfortable as the eyes of the others turned to him. “Well, any more herbs could help. Some of them have the same uses, and it’s always good to have more than you need than not enough.”

 

They nodded, and split up. Pricklelight went with Whimsywillow towards the Hawk Spruce, Heatherheart turned to a thick patch of ferns, and Stempaw went with Slugpaw towards the farm’s entrance. Pumpkinsneeze felt a pang of worry strike him at the thought of two young cats going to the farm alone, but reassured himself. There hadn’t been a dog there in a while, and it was mostly cows and sheep that resided there.

 

His green eyes trailed the forest floor, making sure that he wouldn’t miss anything before he set off. As suspected, there was things he was missing; a small patch of feverfew under a large fern leaf, and some thyme growing near a mossy rock.

 

\- - -

 

It had been about an hour, and the cats were starting to return. Pricklelight had found a generous helping of tansy, and Whimsywillow was carrying chervil and borage in her mouth. Heatherheart had found some marigold, but none of the cats had found any coltsfoot. It was a bit disheartening, but at least everyone had found the rest of the required herbs. Now they were just waiting on the twins. The air was tense as they waited for the apprentices to return, filled with worry that they made a mistake on letting them go without an adult cat.

 

Whimsywillow continued to ask Heatherheart where they were, and it was obvious that the light brown she-cat was getting worried. She had been kneading her paws in the dirt for a while.

 

“Heatherheart, I’m wo-” Whimsywillow began.

 

“I know!” Heatherheart cried, her frustration seeming to bubble over. “Usually I know what to do, but what if they got lost, or  _ hurt _ , and I know we were all supposed to meet back here so what if they finally come here and we’re not  _ waiting _ and they’re confused!”

 

Whimsywillow frowned, seeming to consider options. Pumpkinsneeze was thinking too, but in the end, it was Pricklelight who spoke up.

 

“Whimsywillow, Heatherheart, you’re their mentors. You should look for them, and Pumpkinsneeze, you should go in case they’re hurt, since you’re a medicine cat. That leaves me, I’ll wait here and see if they come back.”

 

Pumpkinsneeze wondered how he hadn’t thought of this; now that Pricklelight had said it, it seemed simple. He mentally beat himself up about it.

 

Heatherheart seemed to take steady breaths, considering this as well. She seemed to steady herself, putting on her calm facade, and stood up. “Good… Good idea, Pricklelight. Thanks. You’ll be okay?”

 

When they nodded, the three set off in the direction that the two cats were last seen.

 

The walk wasn’t that long, and they made it in decent time. Whimsywillow began to call for Stempaw, but Heatherheart hushed her.

 

“Sweetheart, I know you’re worried, I am too, but if there’s a danger, we don’t want to alert them to us.” Heatherheart murmured.

 

Whimsywillow nodded, and opened her mouth to taste the air. With a shake of her fur, she crouched down and started to walk towards the inside of the barn. Pumpkinsneeze and Heatherheart shared a worried glance- being inside the barn could be dangerous for two apprentices who didn’t know what anything in there was. But they followed the white she-cat softly, and the three cats stepped into the barn.

 

“ _ Slugpaw, Stempaw! _ ” Heatherheart whispered. “ _ Are you here? _ ”

 

A shaking in the hay bales caught Pumpkinsneeze’s attention, and as fast as she could, Stempaw burst out. She rushed towards her mentor in a panic.

 

“Thank StarClan you’re here, we were trying to get them out, and Slugpaw said he could push the hay over, but it rolled on him and he’s stuck, and-”

 

“Hold on, hold on, get who out?” Whimsywillow tried to calm her apprentice down. “And, uh, Pumpkinsneeze, you’re pretty big, can you help me move the bale where he’s stuck under? Also, uhm, Stempaw, show us the bale he’s stuck under.”

 

It was clear that Whimsywillow wasn’t that good at trying to lead, but Heatherheart nudged her mate’s shoulder encouragingly. “Yes, show them where Slugpaw is, and you can show me what you were trying to get out.”

 

Stempaw nodded quickly and rushed to a bale near the corner of the barn, and when she tried to push it, a small groan escaped from under it. As Pumpkinsneeze and Whimsywillow rushed over, the tortoiseshell cat sprinted to the farthest bale. Looking closely, Heatherheart could see two wriggling shapes trapped in the corner.

 

_ Kits? Where are their parents? _ she thought in surprise. The barn’s scent was strong with the smell of farm animals, but even with that covering up the smells of other cats, it was clear that the barn hadn’t been inhabited in a while by any cats.

 

“Me and Slugpaw couldn’t fit, so he tried moving some hay bales, and, well, that happened, but you’re skinny, so maybe…?” Stempaw asked, her green eyes shimmering. Heatherheart nodded quickly, and tried to wriggle through the crack between the wall and the hay.

 

It was a tough squeeze, but she managed to pop through and grab a kit. Turning was just as tough, but the lithe she-cat pushed a kit through. The smaller kit, still trapped in the corner, mewled weakly. Heatherheart crawled back through and grabbed it as well.

 

“Augh!” A sharp cry was released as Slugpaw popped out. His front paw seemed to be a bit mangled, and Pumpkinsneeze winced. It was a small break, but he’d definitely have to stay off of it for a while.

 

Whimsywillow struggled to hold up the bale as the tortoiseshell tom crawled out, and she let out a sigh of relief as he got the last bits of his body out from under it. She dropped it in relief, and then let out a gasp as her eyes rested on the shapes in the corner.

 

“Oh my StarClan, kits?!” the white she-cat rushed over. “Oh my, they’re so small! Heatherheart, aren’t they cute? I can’t wait till you tell everyo-”

 

Heatherheart cut her off with a sharp hiss. “Whimsywillow! Now everyone’s gonna know!”

 

Pumpkinsneeze looked at the embarrassed brown cat, and as his eyes settled on her belly, he wondered why he hadn’t noticed it sooner. She clearly wasn’t that far into pregnancy, but nonetheless, she should be resting in the nursery by now.

 

“Heatherheart, you know…” the orange tom started.

 

“Yeah, I know I should be in the nursery by now, but I didn’t want to leave Slugpaw without a mentor, and sleeping next to my mate in the den is really nice.” As Heatherheart said those last few words, Whimsywillow let out a soft mewl filled with love.

 

Her apprentice limped up to her, hopping along on three paws. “Y’know, I don’t think I’ll be able to do any training for a while after this,” he sighed. “So like, go crazy, I guess.”

 

Heatherheart smiled and leaned down to lick her apprentice on the ears. “Thank you, Slugpaw. I guess I’ll be moving to the nursery soon.” 

 

She shot a soft, loving gaze to her mate, who smiled too. “Heatherheart, I’ll bring you prey every morning, don’t worry, I’ll hunt it fresh!”

 

Pumpkinsneeze turned away from the she-cats, feeling as if he was interrupting something private. He padded over to the kits, and picked one up in his mouth. Slugpaw’s eyes lit up as he realized they’d been freed, and he jumped over to grab it.

 

“I’ll be able to carry it good, I swear!” He begged, as if he was a kit too. Pumpkinsneeze smiled and shook his head. Instead, he handed it to Heatherheart. The warriors should probably carry the kits home.

 

Whimsywillow got the message and turned to pick up the other kit. But before she could grab it’s scruff, the thud of paws grabbed her attention, as well as the other cats.

 

Pricklelight rushed through the barn doors, Fernstorm hot on his tail. 

 

“SplashClan invasion! Hurry, they’ve gotten through the camp entrance!” Fernstorm panted. “Applekit tried to fight one, that idiot, and he got hurt, Skunkstar stood up to defend him, and I, I-”

 

With a deep inhale, the tom passed out at their paws. Pricklelight shot an apologetic gaze at the others. “Sorry, he was really panicked, and- are those kits?”

 

Heatherheart turned to Slugpaw and placed the kit at his paws, and Whimsywillow placed the other at his paws too. 

 

“Watch over them and Fernstorm, Slugpaw. You’re in no condition to fight. The rest of you, come with me.” Heatherheart motioned to everyone before dashing out, leaving no time for Slugpaw to complain. 

 

The cats rushed from the barn towards camp, the wind flowing through their fur as if they were all warriors of LeopardClan. Past the Hawk Spruce, past the small water pools that littered the territory, and into the thick of the battle. 

 

Heatherheart was the first to leap into the fray. She had been named for her bravery (and most suspected she was named for her impulse as well, though no one would dare say it to her face), and Pumpkinsneeze found himself thinking that the name was quite fitting as she crashed into a SplashClan cat. It was one that the medicine cat had seen at Gatherings, Salmonpelt, he thought, but who could care about names when his herb storage was being attacked?   
  
His herb storage was being attacked.

 

_ His herb storage was being attacked! _

 

With a wild cry, he hurled himself at the offending cat, ramming his body into him. He yowled frantically at Whimsywillow. “Whimsywillow, help, my herbs!”

 

Whimsywillow looked side to side- first, at her mate, and then to the medicine cat. When she made up her mind that Heatherheart would be fine, she leapt onto the cat with a furious hiss.

 

The duo worked excellently together, and Pumpkinsneeze was glad that he knew a few advanced moves from his time as a warrior apprentice. She clawed the tom’s face while Pumpkinsneeze bared his huge fangs, backing the cat into a corner. The SplashClan cat knew he’d been beaten, and he scurried away with his tail between his legs.

 

_ What a coward,  _ thought Pumpkinsneeze triumphantly.

 

The scurrying of paws caught his attention, and he turned to look at SplashClan retreating in a hurry. The battle had been won, but he needed to look at what herbs he had left before he could get to helping anyone’s injuries.

 

Scanning his herbs, he discovered that they hadn’t gotten to most of his supply, but his catmint, dock, goldenrod, and horsetail had been completely destroyed. He choked out a sob at this; he knew he was overreacting, but he and Ivyjumper had worked so hard to gather an herb supply this large. It was so  _ unfair _ .

 

“Applekit! Applekit, wake up! Please, StarClan, wake up!”

 

The cry came from near the nursery, and Pumpkinsneeze let out a shocked gasp as he let his eyes survey the shapes in the distance. It was Beechroot, Applekit’s mother. He looked at her horrified face, and slowly forced his eyes to drift to the small cinnamon body at her paws, lying completely still. Surrounded by blood, Applekit wasn’t moving whatsoever.

 

He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten about what Fernstorm told him! How long had the kit been there, bleeding out? He’d need to help him, and fast.  _ Cobwebs, goldenrod- oh, foxdung, no goldenrod, how about dock? Fuck, no dock either! _

 

His mind raced before another cry from Beechroot snapped him out of his stupor. He could get other herbs later, but for now, he had to work with what he had. He grabbed cobwebs and rushed to the kit, choking as his paws slid a bit in the blood. Once a lively kit, filled with mischief and adventure, Applekit’s body was cold, his brown eyes losing the shimmer of life.

 

Pumpkinsneeze placed his ear to the chest of Applekit. His breathing was slowing to a standstill.

 

The medicine cat was panicking.  _ How could this happen? I have to save him, I have to, I… I… I need Ivyjumper. _

 

He felt like a kit once more, laying next to his mentor in the medicine den, finding comfort in her body heat pressed against his. He missed her more than he could bear, and with all the chaos around him, he’d finally let his feelings overtake him in the worst possible situation.  _ StarClan, I’m useless, aren’t I? _

 

Wind rushed around him-  _ strange,  _ he thought.  _ There’s hardly a breeze in here, with all the foliage. _

 

His ears popped, and a chill shivered it’s way down his spine. His paws began to weave the cobwebs around the kit’s body, and once the wound was covered, he began to press his paws against Applekit’s chest. It was as if he was being possessed.

 

_ Like I’m being possessed with the spirit of some less shitty medicine cat _ , he thought. 

 

_ Oh, fuck off, now isn’t the time for self-hatred. _

 

“Please, Applekit, please,” he begged as he tried to push life into the kit with his paws.

 

Everything turned quiet around Pumpkinsneeze, like his ears were clogged with the starry tar once more. He could vaguely hear muffled screams from Beechroot as she shoved her face into the shoulder of Petalspring. Applekit’s father prevented his other kits from seeing their brother’s body lying so still, but Petalspring was clearly about to break down as well. Yet Pumpkinsneeze noticed none of this- it was as if he was underwater, and those cats on the land, well, they didn’t matter so much in this moment right now.

 

Something in Pumpkinsneeze was telling him to continue, despite his rational thoughts telling him that doing this was useless. But the cries of Beechroot and now Pearkit, who had just forced her way past Quailtuft to see the body, made him push harder. 

 

With a heavy heave, Applekit started choking up his blood. 

 

Pumpkinsneeze flipped the kit over so he wouldn’t choke, still in a daze.  _ That shouldn’t have worked, why was I doing it, and how did it work? _

 

He motioned to Petalspring to pat his son’s back, letting the liquid flow out faster. If it was already coming out, no reason to delay it, he supposed. Petalspring nodded, though his paws were shaking as he padded over. Pumpkinsneeze added another few layers of cobwebs to the kit’s wound, and only when Applekit was stable did Pumpkinsneeze feel at ease. He asked Petalspring to carry his son into a nest in the medicine den, and he obliged, Beechroot and his siblings trailing behind him. 

 

The two parents were both clearly in shock, and he’d have to count Fernstorm as shocked too, considering the tom passed out… Dear StarClan, he’d need more poppy seeds.

 

\- - -

 

The afternoon had passed by quickly. He’d finished patching up the wounded warriors and queens, and one elder- Leafrustle had jumped in between a SplashClan apprentice and Mintpaw, and Pumpkinsneeze would forever be grateful to the tom for protecting his younger brother. 

 

Beechroot, Petalspring, and Fernstorm had been given the remaining supply of poppy seeds, and a few cats were told to stay in the medicine den for a few nights. With his duties done, Pumpkinsneeze found himself gazing at the sleeping body of Applekit. 

 

_ He shouldn’t be here right now. I’m glad he is, but those wounds… they were fatal. _

 

Once again, as they always did, his thoughts drifted to his mentor.

 

_ Ivyjumper would have known what to do, and how to do it well. She would have all the right herbs and skills, all the ones that I lack. Hell, she wouldn’t have even left the medicine den. I wouldn’t have so many cats in here right now if I didn’t leave to get more herbs, I bet. This is probably all my fau- _

 

“Pumpkinsneeze. Come with me.”

 

His eyes shot up from the ground as a fluffy black tail shot around the corner of his den. He got to his paws, and carefully maneuvered around the sleeping cats. He let his eyes drift to Applekit once more before heading outside.

 

The leader of TangleClan stood in front of him, and motioned her head for him to follow her into her den. She jumped up the large roots, and Pumpkinsneeze tried to follow, though he found himself slipping on a mossy mushroom more than once.

 

She was sitting in her den, looking over the camp at the sky around her. She patted the ground beside her, and Pumpkinsneeze sat down and rested his head against her shoulder.

 

“Do you see the sky, grandson? Our clearing is dark, and the moon is clouded out. Why would StarClan show a sky filled with their cats, when blood was spilled tonight?” Skunkstar began, and trailed off.

 

Pumpkinsneeze took a moment to observe his camp. He had always appreciated the look of it, with all of the ferns and tall trees spanning for miles. As Skunkstar sat in silence, his eyes drifted around her den. The hollowed hole in the tree was covered in moss and lichen, and the den was more than large enough to fit a mate and kits in it. In fact, when heavy floods would hit, the elders, queens, and kits were sent up here, just to be safe.

 

He was so caught up in the beauty of this den, this camp, that he almost didn’t hear his leader speak a few soft words.

 

Almost.

 

“I lost a life.”

 

He opened his mouth to reply, but all he could do was sputter and choke. She hadn’t come to his den, hadn’t said a word to her Clan’s healer. She lifted the injured body of Volecatcher to his den- she’d lost an eye- after a life had been stripped from her?

 

His eyes were concerned. “Why didn’t you tell me of your wounds?”   
  
She sent a small, sad smile his way, age and exhaustion showing in the eyes that mirrored his own. “StarClan healed my wounds. It was just a swift slice to the throat, look, you can hardly see a scar.”

 

The tone of her voice was joking, but she was right. The fur around where she’d been killed was sliced and gone, showing her throat, but there was nothing more than a line showing where she had been attacked. If they didn’t look closely, he doubted that any of his clan would notice that anything had happened to their leader.

 

If he squinted, he could’ve sworn that the scar was glowing faintly.

 

“Still, you should have had it checked, in case of infection…” his words faltered. “I’m sorry, I don’t know how many lives you have left, you usually left this to Ivyjumper. She’d know what to do, Skunkstar, I just feel like a kit. It’s as if I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”

 

“I know I used to speak to Ivyjumper. She was our medicine cat, and a fine one at that. But now, that role belongs to you. As the highest ranks of our Clan, we must carry the burden of TangleClan together. Let me tell you something.”

 

His ears perked up as he turned to try to look her into the eyes. He ultimately failed, as he usually did, but she shot him a smile anyways.

 

“I didn’t know how to react when Elmstar died. I knew that I was the new leader, but it all felt fake, like I shouldn’t have been there. All I knew was that my mate should have been standing in my place. You never met him, but he was a good cat. I think about him every day that goes by, and though it’s hard to remember his face, I can remember some details if I think hard enough. It was hard to let go, and it was hard to believe that I’d ever live up to his legacy. But I did, Pumpkinsneeze, and now I’m here, with a Clan that I’m trying my best to take care of. We take their places, and our successors take ours.

 

The cycle of our lives seems large and overwhelming, but it is but a pinprick in Clan life. And we must do everything in our power to maintain this cycle. We are the Clan’s hope and future, the Clan’s backbone and it’s heart. You will never quite get the hang of it with the small amount of time you have in this world, but to be honest, Pumpkinsneeze, I think you’re doing an excellent job so far.”

 

Her words provided a comfort he hadn’t felt at all since his mentor died, and the medicine cat started to choke up a little before he realized what she was doing.

 

_ She’s trying to dodge the question. _

 

“Skunkstar, I must ask again,” he said firmly. “How many lives do you have left?”

 

She was silent for longer than he thought she’d be, and as he opened his mouth to ask again, she breathed out an answer. An awful, terrifying answer, that chilled him to the core.

 

“One.”

 

His claws dug into the bark of the floor. How was that possible? She’d been around for his whole life, and he thought that she always would be. There was a possibility that this cat, this cat that the whole Clan revered, would die in his lifetime. His mind was spinning, and he was having trouble processing.

 

“Go to sleep, Pumpkinsneeze. You’ve had a long day,” she croaked. 

 

Her voice sounded hollow and defeated, as if she felt guilty. An unsteady nod was all he could manage as he teetered out of the den. He felt off-balance and disoriented; this news was hitting him hard. His grandmother had always been a source of comfort in his life.

 

When he tumbled back into his den, it was as if his mind wouldn’t let him dwell on what happened tonight, because he fell asleep almost instantly as his head hit the moss.

 

\- - -

 

“That kit would have died, if not for me. Aren’t you going to say thank you?”

 

The snarky voice cut through the eerie silence of his dream, and Pumpkinsneeze’s eyes shot open, narrowing as the cat in front of him smirked.

 

“Who are you?” he hissed, as if he was worried that the cat in front of him would be of SplashClan. However, she was not.

 

When his eyes focused, he noticed that the cat in front of him was ethereal and skeletal. Definitely not a SplashClan cat.

 

She began to circle him. “My name is Talongaze, of SandClan. I know, I know, hold back your cheers. A medicine cat of a fallen Clan, talking to a useless cat like you? It must be amazing to experience this- though I wouldn’t know.”

 

A soft giggle escaped her mouth as she continued, though to Pumpkinsneeze the laughter sounded cruel. 

 

“Anyways, aren’t you going to thank me for saving that kit?” she crowed. “Patching up his wounds, showing you exactly how to heal him? Making sure that when he vomited up his blood, there was more to replace it so he couldn’t bleed out? Aren’t I incredible?”

 

“StarClan, you sure do talk a lot,” he muttered, his voice tinged with annoyance.

 

Her gaze turned into a glare as she faced him. “Don’t you dare use that name in front of me! I-” she cut herself off.

 

“Don’t you know I’m a StarClan cat myself?” a sly, toothy grin flashed at Pumpkinsneeze. “I’m here to help you, make you great, blah, blah. StarClan told me that you needed help, ‘cause you kept fucking up your healing, and I’ll be mighty mad if you keep doing that. My Clan is long dead, and so are our healing secrets. Don’t you want to know them? Didn’t your mentor teach you anything?”

 

Pumpkinsneeze tried to think of a way to reply to her, but her words hit true.

 

_ She’s right. You’ve never been good at your job, and if what she said was true, Applekit could have died. If she could heal him, she could probably help you save as many cats as possible, right? _

 

He frowned, and she took the opportunity to open her mouth again. “Okay, hun, you don’t have to decide right now what your plan is, but I know you’ll make the right decision. Plus, I’ll be back anyways, to make sure you don’t turn your Clan to shit. Understand?”

 

As the tom nodded defeatedly, her grin widened. “Good, now get up. Applekit is calling.”

 

She moved quickly, slicing his throat before he could react to what was happening. “Don’t worry, it’s not fatal here, just enough to wake you up.”

 

When she turned, it was only for a split second, but Pumpkinsneeze saw all he needed as the blood rushed out of his throat. He choked out a scream as he took in her body- her side was completely flattened near the waist, and her ribcage was shattered and protruding. Her silky, light brown fur was stained with blood and chunks of flesh, and Pumpkinsneeze swore he could see the marks of the feet of the monsters that they found near the Thunderpath on her body.

 

He hadn’t seen such a thing in his whole life, not even when he healed cats on the daily. Despite the horror brewing in him, he only managed to think of one thing before he woke.

 

_ I thought StarClan cats healed after they died, or something like that. Maybe I do need her teaching, if I couldn’t even figure that out by myself. _

 

He woke to the cries of Applekit, who had rolled onto his injured side. Pumpkinsneeze helped him back to the right side, and hushed him to sleep.

 

When he returned to his nest, he couldn’t for the life of him figure out how to fall back into his slumber.

 

He was so focused on resting that he didn’t notice the thin line of blood dribbling down his throat and onto the earth.


	2. flowers and love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's chapter two yeehaw

The feeling of warmth around yourself is comforting. She could feel the breathing of the cats around her; her mate was so warm, and the fur surrounding her was so  _ very _ soft. It provided a small comfort after the battle. The trials of the day weren’t even that bad, considering Applekit was the only kit who got hurt, and he seemed fine now.

 

_ Definitely not too bad for a battle! _

 

She purred contently against Heatherheart’s fur. Tonight was the last night that her mate would be in the warrior’s den- Pumpkinsneeze had fought and fought, but in the end, Heatherheart managed to convince him to give her one more night.

 

Whimsywillow always tried to look on the bright side- an attitude which clearly annoyed her apprentice- but she was having a hard time being positive about her mate heading into the nursery. Of course, the positives were clear to her, though! Her mate would be safe, and… she wouldn’t be able to hunt with her.

 

A frown settled into her face, just like it had earlier that day, though she hid them well. The highlights of her day were when Heatherheart went hunting with her. Heatherheart could slink into the places where prey would hide and chase them out, and Whimsywillow would catch them.

 

_ We’re great together! _ she thought.  _ I’m gonna miss her when she goes to the nursery. But her and our kits will be safe, and I guess that’s what matters. _

 

She nestled into the fur of her brother, who was lying on the other side of her. The best nights were when she was surrounded by her Clan’s warmth. She could feel it seep into her, the heated bond of this large family everyone had formed. She was happy here, in this Clan.

 

Happy in her nest choice, between Heatherheart and Petalspring. Happy with the things she could do for everyone, and happy with everything in her life. Everything was warm, and everything was good.

 

The place where she woke up was not warm at all.

 

She took a shaky breath, letting her eyes scan this new place. It hadn’t even felt as if she’d closed her eyes, yet she was whisked out of her warmth and into this world that she’d never taken a step in.

 

Naturally, she took a step forwards. She looked around- trees as far as the eye could see, but none like the ones in her beloved Clan. They were gnarly and twisted, and as dead as could be. Almost as if it was against her will, she forced herself to look deeper. Past the branches, into the nothingness.

 

A sense of dread hit her in waves. Nothing had happened, yet negative emotions seemed to flow into her before she steadied herself.

 

_ What is this place? I just want to go home! Where’s my mate, or my Clan, or- _

 

“No going home just yet,” an echoing voice seemed to taunt.

 

She swivelled, yet she couldn’t find the source of the voice. It seemed to be everywhere at once, flooding her senses. “Who are you, where are you?! How did you know what I was thinking?!”

 

An empty laugh rang out from behind her, and when she turned, she could see a white cat slinking out of the trees. She wanted to run, but her paws seemed frozen in place. He kept stepping towards her, and only stopped when he was a whisker’s length away from her face.

 

Whimsywillow had never seen this cat in her life, but he grinned at her as if he’d known her for moons. Her heart beat faster than she’d ever felt, and she made sure to choke back a sob.

 

_ No one can ever see I’m upset, not even this cat. _

 

His grin widened, almost as if he could see her struggling to stand her ground. “My dear, it is so pleasant to meet you. My name is Frigidfeather- I’m an old companion of your grandfather’s. I’ve been waiting for this day for a very,  _ very _ long time. He’s told me so much of you, but he never did tell me how fast you thought, and how chaotic it was. It’s a bit overwhelming, do try to think slower.”

 

Her mouth was agape. It seemed her suspicions were correct; this cat seemed to be able to know what her thoughts were. But in this moment, she didn’t care.

 

“You know Burrclaw? How is he, I haven’t seen him in so long, is he happy? Is my grandmother here too? What about my par-” she rambled questions faster than she thought she would.

 

The cat winced, and she felt a pang of pity.  _ Right, he said that he could read thoughts or something. That must’ve been overwhelming, I’m sorry. _

 

He flashed a pained smile. “It’s okay, dear. And I haven’t seen them in a while; I set out as soon as your grandfather told me what I had to do.”   
  
She tilted her head, her tail flicking back and forth. “What did he say you had to do?”   
  
His eyes flashed mischievously. “Deliver you a prophecy, my darling. He said I had to train you, or else your kits would die.”

 

\- - -

 

His eyes strained as the sun began to rise- Applekit’s snoring was keeping him awake. Or perhaps, it was his swarming thoughts about the intruder in his dreams-  _ Talongaze _ . The name rolled off his tongue as if he’d said it a million times before. 

 

He thought back to what she said- something about mentoring him, or such. He knew nothing about her other than that she seemed kind of cocky, and it was suspicious why a StarClan cat would ever want to help  _ him _ .

 

In all honesty, he didn’t know if he’d want her to tutor him so soon after Ivyjumper’s death, but if she said that he needed her help, then she must be correct.

 

A green gaze drifted to the sleeping form of the cinnamon kit. Only a few hours earlier, Applekit had been bleeding out with fatal wounds.  _ How could that kit have lived, how could I heal him, if not for StarClan’s help? I’ve never dealt with anything like that before, it had to be Talongaze. Applekit would have died without her. I would have seen him die, and it’d be my fault. _

 

A shiver drifted down his spine as a terrible image flashed in front of his eyes; having to prepare Applekit’s body for a burial ceremony, seeing his parents and siblings sob as he was lowered into the ground.  _ It would be my fault, if he died. All my fault. Everything seems to be my fault. Probably my fault about Elmkit and Pouncekit, and my father, and my parent, somehow. Somehow it’s just always your fault. _

 

A voice snapped through his thoughts.  _ Why do you always blame yourself? _

 

His head perked up, but as he looked around, he saw no one around him that was awake. 

 

_ Must’ve imagined it, _ he thought.

 

As he rested his head back down against his nest, his mind once again drifted to the she-cat he’d seen in his dreams. Was he imagining that too? Was she real, or was she just a nightmare? His thoughts tangled around his brain like roots taking hold of the soil, preventing him from thinking of anything else.

 

A real StarClan cat, mentoring him? It sounded strange, even to a medicine cat. He couldn’t imagine why she’d ever want to train him.

 

_ Me, my Clan, my herbs, and my dead StarClan mentor,  _ he laughed quietly in the dawn.  _ How strange. _

 

He did not manage to get any rest that night.

 

\- - -

 

When Whimsywillow woke up, she immediately nudged Heatherheart awake as well. 

 

“Heatherheart, I have to tell you something!” she whispered into her mate’s ear worriedly.

 

But as the small she-cat turned to face her warmly with a lazy smile on her face, Whimsywillow faltered. How could she put the burden of what Frigidfeather had told her onto her mate’s shoulders too? She should be resting, and staying safe in the nursery.

 

_ I will protect us all myself. Frigidfeather came to me for a reason. _

 

“What is it, my branch?” Heatherheart murmured.

 

Whimsywillow began to purr as Heatherheart spoke the term of appreciation. She could remember how confused the other Clans had been at the Gathering when Volecatcher had declared her love for Pricklelight by calling them her “branch”- apparently they didn’t use branch as a term of affection! 

 

_ How odd! I wonder what they use instead, I mean, branch has significance ‘cause of how it’s connected to the tree, but the tree is the Clan an’ a set of branches is connected, so maybe they use streams in SplashClan, like if they connect over streams, similar to how we use our terms? Maybe ScorchClan has something related to flowers growin’ out of the ashes or something- _

 

“Whimsywillow?”

 

The white she-cat snapped out of her over-analyzing trance. “Oh! Sorry, Heatherheart, I was just thinking of how much I love you and also how other Clans don’t have the term branch, what do you think they use, I bet EchoClan uses some weird stuff about soil, or-”

 

“Darling, it’s too early for these questions.” Heatherheart groaned. “I love you, but please go back to sleep.”

  
Whimsywillow nodded and tried to fall back asleep, but she was so used to going on the dawn patrol that she couldn’t figure out how to at all. Her whole body was telling her that this was when she should be awake.

 

She rested in silence, listening to the stirring of the cats on the dawn patrol as they got up, and her mate’s breathing.

 

It was still so hard to sleep, she couldn’t bear staying quiet now. “Hey, Heatherheart, do you think that mice have tiny Clans, like us, but it’s mice?”

 

“Whimsywillow, for the love of StarClan, go back to sleep.” Heatherheart covered her eyes with her paws. “I’m so  _ tired _ …” 

 

Her mate drew out the last word groggily until Whimsywillow licked her nose. “Gosh, alright! But I’ve been put on a morning patrol, so I might have to leave soon.”

 

Heatherheart groaned out what Whimsywillow interpreted as an “okay,” and she giggled. 

 

_ I’ll never understand how she isn’t a morning person! _

 

Looked around. Blinked. Looked at the roots above her head, looked at a butterfly outside the den, looked at Heatherheart. Blinked. Looked at the water dripping through the ceiling of moss and roots.

 

_ Drip. _

 

_ Drip. _

 

_ Drip. _

 

“Augh!” she proclaimed, standing up. A few cats shot glares at her. “I’m so bored!”

 

“Then go and hunt! You know very well that we aren’t confined to the den until we get put on a patrol!” Poppyspeckle hissed.

 

_ I wanted someone to go with me, so we could hunt together. _

 

Despite thinking this, she kept her mouth shut. She didn’t want to get scolded by a senior warrior, and especially not Poppyspeckle, who had a sharp tongue.

 

So she climbed out of the warrior’s den, accidentally trodding over Pinepelt in the process. She muttered an apology before leaping out of the den and into the fog of the morning.

 

It was a lot thicker than it looked from the den, but she waded through it nonetheless.  _ Maybe it’ll help me disguise my scent from the prey. _

 

She was about to step out when she noticed a small form shaking near the exit. It was trembling, and seemed to be afraid. Black, with bright blue eyes.

 

Whimsywillow realized that this was the first time she’d seen the eyes of the kits that they’d rescued.

 

“Hello! What are you doing out of the nursery, little one?” she cooed.

 

“Smells diff’rent from home.” the kit mewed. Whimsywillow hadn’t realized that it could speak yet, but then again, she hadn’t really interacted with many kits lately.

 

_ Will my kits be able to walk and talk this soon, too? _

 

The kit let out a few unintelligible mews, and didn’t seem to want to talk. She could definitely relate- getting stuck in a conversation that you didn’t want to be in wasn’t fun at all. But she felt the need to comfort the kit, considering it was just taken out of it’s home.

 

“Hey now, it’s okay. This is home now, because you weren’t safe in your old one. We found your brother with you, and he’s really sick right now. But my friend is helping him get better.” she purred.

 

It kept shuffling it’s paws, she noticed. It was restless, but hopefully that sentence calmed it down a bit. Whimsywillow let out a relieved sigh as it stilled.

 

“Th’ cat wi’h us di’n’t come back f’r a long time,” the kit whimpered. “I ‘unno what happ’n’d.”

 

Her fur began to stand on end as Whimsywillow thought of the events that had happened a quarter-moon ago. There were rogues, or loners, non-Clan cats, on their territory, and they’d chased them off. She couldn’t recall seeing a black cat, but…

 

_ Snap out of it, and comfort this kit! _ she thought to herself with a nod.

 

“Neither do we, but we’ll take care of you now. You’re safe here.” Whimsywillow licked the kit’s head. “What’s your name, honey? You haven’t talked since you came here!”

 

“I… I w’s called Tulip. Th’ cat wi’h me said it was a nut. I dunno what a nut is. Said ‘her daugh’r was sweet like a flower.’” the she-cat murmured.

 

Whimsywillow nodded, and bent down towards the kit. “It’s safer in the nursery, alright? Tulip, you should stay in there for now, okay? Can I take you there?”

 

Tulip nodded hesitantly, and Whimsywillow grabbed the kit by her scruff. She padded to the nursery, and placed the kit in the entrance.

 

The small black kit smiled softly at her before padding in.

 

_ If this is what being a mother feels like, I can’t wait. _

 

\- - -

 

“Heatherheart! I brought you a thrush!”

 

“Thank you, my love.” Whimsywillow’s mate purred. “Did the hunt run well?”

 

Whimsywillow curled up to Heatherheart outside the nursery, dropping the thrush (and the mouse she’d brought for herself). “Yeah! Fernstorm almost caught a robin, but it escaped. Stempaw caught a real fat chipmunk, though!”

 

Heatherheart smiled as Whimsywillow talked about the hunt. “I can’t wait to hunt with you again.”

 

Whimsywillow smiled, nudging at her mate’s belly. “As soon as our kits can fare for themselves, I’ll take you on an adventure, and we can hunt whenever we wish. How does that sound?”

 

The light brown she-cat snorted. “Oh? And who will hunt for our Clan, or care for our kits, while we’re gone?”

 

The fluffy cat tilted her head. “Hmm… we’ll sleep on that.”

 

The she-cats burst into a fit of giggles, and when they thought they’d calmed down, Heatherheart’s belly rumbled, sending them laughing once more.

 

“You should eat! Got that thrush for ya, y’know!” Whimsywillow teased.

 

“Alright, alright. You must eat your mouse though, you must be very hungry after hunting for us.”

 

As the cats settled in to eat their prey, Whimsywillow found her eyes trailing to the black kit in the clearing playing with Thornkit. It had been two weeks since the kits came to TangleClan, and Tulipkit was happy with her new name. Beechroot was caring for the two rogue children, but a part of Whimsywillow wished that she could be their mother instead.

 

Lilackit, her brother, stayed in the shadows most of the time, watching his sister play. Heatherheart had told her of the time she’d tried to talk to him.

 

“I don’t fit in here, I don’t think. Why don’t we look like our mother?” he had asked.

 

Heatherheart had simply reassured him that he did fit in, and walked off anxiously. She and Whimsywillow had talked about it later that day.

 

_ “I don’t see why Skunkstar thinks that we shouldn’t tell them where they’re from. I guess it makes sense that they’d be more comfortable thinking they were Clanborn, but I can’t see this having any good consequences in the end,” she murmured. _

 

_ “StarClan, I know. Hopefully if they ever find out, they’ll be alright with it, I guess?” Whimsywillow tried, feeling guilty. _

 

_ The two she-cats knew that that wouldn’t be the case. _

 

Whimsywillow snapped out of her stupor as she leaned down to take a bite of the mouse, only to realize none was left. She must have eaten in while not paying attention.

 

Heatherheart had finished her thrush, and was now sleeping gently against her mate’s side. Whimsywillow licked her forehead, and laid down to rest as well.

 

\- - -

 

“So, you’ve come back in the day, I see.”

 

She shook her fur as she stepped to her paws. “Sorry, Frigidfeather, I should probably be giving you a break, but I’m just so tired lately. Do I  _ always _ have to come here when I sleep?”

 

“Yes, sadly. I’d give you a break if I could, too. Now, tell me what you’ve done today.”

 

One by one, she recounted her day’s activities. 

 

“Excellent, catching the thrush should ensure your mate won’t starve. Did you mark the farm borders, to prevent the rogues from returning and collecting their kits?” Frigidfeather asked.

 

Looking down at the ground, she replied. “Yes. Why can’t the rogues come for their children? I’d be horrified if my kits were stolen, isn’t this cruel?”

 

“Do you want me to give the answers that you’ve heard one thousand times? I’ve asked around, cats know what would happen.”

 

_ The rogues would attack and kill Heatherheart, the kits will one day be valuable assets to our Clan, I know, I know. I’m sorry. _

 

“Good kit,” he nodded. “You must follow me exactly to keep your family safe. Isn’t that what you want? Don’t you love them?”

 

“Yes, of course I do!” she cried. “I’ll do anything to protect them, Frigidfeather, and I’m glad you gave me the chance to protect them, I just… it’s so hard.”

 

Cold eyes met with her own. “Well, if protecting your loved ones is  _ too hard _ for you, feel free to stop paying attention to me.”

 

“No, no, that’s not what I meant!” she spoke frantically. “I just- I- ugh! Frigidfeather, can you wake me up now? I can’t deal with this right now!”

 

“Of course, kitten,” he replied, before biting into her neck.

 

By now, she had learned to muffle the screams of pain when she woke up. 

 

_ After all, he’s doing what I asked. If hurting me in StarClan is the way to wake me up, then I’ll get hurt in StarClan. _

 

However, she did jump up as she realized a faint trickle of blood was starting to trickle down her neck.  _ I can’t let Heatherheart see, Frigidfeather said she could never know. I’ll go to Pumpkinsneeze by myself. _

 

Grass muffled her pawsteps as she padded into the medicine den. “Bee, I fell on a bunch of thorns around my neck zone!”

 

“Wow, that sounds legitimate, but I’m done questioning,” Pumpkinsneeze replied sarcastically, stepping out from around the corner. “And what did I tell you about that nickname?”

 

“I know, no making fun of the time you dropped a bee’s nest on yourself,” she replied slyly, making sure that Applekit, who was still recovering, overheard her.

 

“You dropped a bee’s nest on yourself?!” the kit let out a cry. “Why would you ever do that, dummy!”

 

The medicine cat shot a glare towards her, but she could tell he wasn’t really mad. “Look what I’ll have to deal with for the rest of the day!”

 

“The rest of your life,” Applekit corrected.

 

“Hush up, Applekit. Anyways, Whims, come over here so I can apply cobwebs.”

 

She obliged, trotting over to him, and sat down on a mossy nest.

 

Pumpkinsneeze observed the wounds for a moment, murmuring to himself. He seemed to freeze up as he spotted something, and Whimsywillow noticed his sharp inhale.

 

“What is it? You’ve seen blood before, right?” she joked, though worry was filling her.  _ Does he know something? _

 

“Yes, I just… it just looks like something’s in there. Thorns are a pain to get out, so…” he muttered, looking around before grabbing a stick off of the ground. “Bite on this.”

 

“Alright,” she said, grabbing the stick in her mouth and wincing as Pumpkinsneeze cleaned his claws in the water. She’d had this before when a wasp’s stinger was too deep in her, and it hurt quite a bit.

 

A hiss escaped her mouth as Pumpkinsneeze used a claw to dig into her wound. He moved his claw around, trying to wedge whatever was in her out. With a “oh, there,” it was popped out, and he placed cobwebs over the wound, which was now bleeding more than it had been when she came here. 

 

_ Better than being infected, I guess. _

 

Pumpkinsneeze looked at the “thorn” on the ground with a frustrated, yet confused, look on his face. “Whimsywillow?”

 

“Yes?” she questioned, turning to him. He was busy washing the object off in the same water that he used to clean his paws.

 

As the blood ran off, he grabbed what was in her throat in his paws. As he held it up, she shuttered visibly.

 

It was a single rotten tooth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> friendly reminder that you can ask questions about willows on willowswarriors.tumblr.com !!


	3. the lies in the center of everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter three!!!!!!!! finally
> 
> hey if u can, please leave a comment!! they fuel me

Never in his life would Cinderclaw consider himself to be a good warrior.

 

He stumbled over his paws, wasn’t the best fighter, and fell into the dirtplace on more than one occassion. So he couldn’t figure out why in the name of ScorchClan Glowingstar would appoint him as the deputy. Sure, he was alright at hunting, and tried to keep a level head, but there had definitely been other options.

 

These were the thoughts running through his mind that distracted him from fighting as Deerripple tackled him to the charred earth.

 

“Like that, Charpaw. Did you see how Cinderclaw wasn’t paying attention to the position of his paws?” the older she-cat flicked her tail as she went to fix her apprentice’s paws, which weren’t on balance either. “This way, you won’t be able to be knocked over as easily. Now, Cinderclaw, are you ready to show Charpaw?”

 

Cinderclaw felt a rush of embarrassment flush through his face. _I didn’t even notice that my paws were unsteady._ “Yes, of course. Charpaw, I’ll tackle you, and Deerripple will… uh…”

 

As he trailed off hesitantly, she picked his sentence up. “Watch and evaluate you. Now, don’t stress, this isn’t your final evaluation, but I need to see what you need to improve.”

 

He felt a feeling of disgust at himself as he realized that Deerripple was talking to him exactly like she talked to her apprentice. He’d always thought of himself as an awful deputy choice, but he really didn’t need a senior warrior to confirm his fears.

 

“Hey, Cinderclaw!” Charpaw yelled, snapping him out of his stupor. She shared a quick glance with her mentor, gave a brisk nod, and planted her paws firmly into the ground, locking amber eyes with his own blue. “I’m ready!”

 

It was clear to everyone that Cinderclaw was hesitating to rush into his sister. The way he shuffled his paws, the way he ran at a much slower pace than everyone knew he could. The way the light shove didn’t faze her at all.

 

Deerripple let out a long sigh as she looked at Cinderclaw. “Please try again, and hit her harder next time, alright? Warriors of enemy Clans won’t just gently shove her. She must learn how to protect herself.”

 

He nodded, but looking at his sister’s goofy, reassuring grin only made him more nervous. She had only just gotten out of the medicine den for her asthma, and he was worried he’d send her back in. But Deerripple was right; another warrior wouldn’t go soft on her.

 

Steadying his paws the way that Deerripple showed Charpaw, he rushed forwards and rammed into his sister. She flinched a bit, but she kept her ground. Soot from the training ground flew into her face, and her grin widened as she realized she’d succeeded.

 

Cheers from Porcupineclaw, Deerripple, and Harepaw rang through the clearing. Charpaw stuck her tongue out at Cinderclaw with a smile, and he laughed back.

 

“Excellent! Your stance was a bit off, but you’ve been improving vastly.” Deerripple rested her tail gently on her apprentice’s shoulder, and Charpaw’s eyes lit up.

 

As he glanced around the clearing of cats, his eyes settled on the small frame of Deerripple. She was experienced, and as a senior warrior, she knew what to do in most situations. She would have been a great deputy. A frown settled onto his face.

 

_Maybe Glowingstar didn’t mean to pick me. He was having a rough time after Branchheart died, and I was his brother, so maybe he thought I’d be just like him. Obviously, he was wrong, and any day now he’ll replace me. Yeah, that’s probably it._

 

“Cinderclaw,” Harepaw, the other apprentice at the training hollow, called to him. “Can me and Featherpaw go on a border patrol later with our mentors?”

 

The deputy chuckled; Harepaw was a clever little tom. He’d had a crush on Featherpaw for moons, from what Charpaw had told him. Burdockblaze was Featherpaw’s mentor, and the warrior had been complaining for ages about the stench of TangleClan at their borders. Porcupineclaw, however, was overprotective, and Cinderclaw assumed that he’d request for the apprentices to stay behind and hunt to reduce the risk of being hurt.

 

Charpaw had told him that he’d been trying to get some time alone with Featherpaw for a very long time, and that Harepaw had thought it through countless times. He just needed Cinderclaw to cooperate, apparently.

 

“Of course,” Cinderclaw spoke, his grin showing a missing tooth. “I’ll be sure to announce it under the Crimson Stones this evening, for the night patrols. You had better stay out of trouble, though.”

 

The apprentice muttered a quick “yes!” before hurring off to tell Porcupineclaw. Cinderclaw felt a shock of nostalgia run through him; he missed the days where he could run around carelessly and rely on his mentor for most things.

 

Looking at Porcupineclaw talking to his apprentice, he thought of what his brother had been doing lately. Featherpaw was his own flesh and blood, since Porcupineclaw was her father, and Cinderclaw wondered how Porcupineclaw would take his apprentice dating his daughter. He had no doubt in his mind that Featherpaw and Harepaw would end up together- they fit together like fire and coal.

 

He shook his fur as a chill shuddered it’s way through him. He glanced at the sky; the sun was fading quicker than he’d noticed. “Everyone, back to camp, now. We all know what happens when our apprentices aren’t safe and snug in their nests by sundown.”

 

His tone was one of a joking sort, but the eyes of the apprentices widened in fear nonetheless, and their fur stood up on end.

 

“The walking crow-food!” Charpaw screeched, dashing back to camp as fast as her legs could take her. Harepaw followed close behind, almost crushing her as he overtook her.

 

Deerripple let out a soft giggle as she turned to face the brothers. “When do you think they’ll find out about the truth of those tales?”  
  
Porcupineclaw’s laugh boomed throughout the charred trees. “Hopefully never!”

 

Every cat in the Clan knew the tales of the walking crow-food- loners and rogues who battled ScorchClan for their territory back before the Clans were even formed. Vile and cursed, they arose at night with a taste for the blood of the young cats of ScorchClan! If you weren’t back into camp by sundown, it was said you’d never be seen again… of course, those were all rumours started by the mentors to keep their apprentices in check.

 

It was kind of funny how the apprentices didn’t question how they could be on night patrols with the walking crow-food lurking, though. As time advanced, the apprentices would figure it out, but some apprentices never believed it to begin with.

 

By some apprentices, he meant Nightpaw.

 

He let out a deep sigh as he thought of his brother. Ever since leafbare, the sullen apprentice had been seen less and less around camp at night. Despite being in the same litter as Nightpaw, Charpaw was closer to Cinderclaw, and she expressed her concerns to him on the daily.

 

_“I just don’t see why he can’t cope with it, it’s been long enough! Like, Morningpaw is fucking dead! I miss him, we all do, but at least we’re helpful!”_

 

_“Language, Charpaw,” he scolded, with a sharp pang in his heart as he thought of his little brother. “Different cats cope in different ways.”_

 

_“It’s been moons! I wish he’d cope in a way that didn’t involve him going out late and never talking to anyone! I know that he was closest to Morningpaw, but it hurts that he’s not talking to me about it…” The small she-cat brushed away a few stray tears with her ashen paws._

 

_“Maybe he’s not talking to you about it because you talk about him behind his back, like this?” Cinderclaw offered._

 

_His sister let out a soft hiss. “Not really a good time for jokes, ‘claw.”_

 

 _“I know, I know. I was just trying to cheer you up.” he sighed. “It sucks, I know, but we have to let him handle things in his own way. Getting mad at him solves nothing.”_   
_  
_ “I guess…”

 

_“You weren’t really around when Branchheart died. It was pretty awful, but Porcupineclaw had always been closer to him than I’d ever be. Losing a littermate is hard, but it’s harder on their closest sibling. Porcupineclaw won’t even let us talk about Branchheart around him, and it’s been ages.”_

 

 _“That’s pretty sad.”_   
  
_“Yeah,” he agreed. “But eventually he’ll be happy again, just like Porcupineclaw. Time heals all wounds.”_   
_  
She sighed, seemingly defeated. “Yeah, I guess. Thanks, Cinderclaw.”_

 

To be honest, that wasn’t his most fond memory involving his sister, but it was one that stood out most in his mind. It had been about half a moon ago, and he always thought that she looked like she wanted to say something else. The curiosity had been killing him. The death of Morningpaw had been hard on them all, especially Curlyfur and Dimple. His parents retired when Morningpaw fell ill, saying that they needed to spend every second with their son. But it hit no one harder than it hit Nightpaw.

 

The tom hadn’t even been able to attend Morningpaw’s funeral, for he couldn’t keep himself away from his brother’s body. It had broken Cinderclaw’s heart when Nightpaw was crying for his littermate to wake up, and seeing him being torn away from the corpse by other warriors reminded him of Porcupineclaw at Branchheart’s funeral.

 

He’d give anything to bring Morningpaw back, just so Nightpaw could be the little punk that he once was. But it was impossible to even consider.

 

A drop of rain fell onto thick grey fur. The rain from yesterday had soaked the leaves of the budding trees, and the water shook the deputy out of his stupor. Right, he needed to announce the patrols. He felt his paws step onto the crimson rocks, though his head wasn’t quite in time with his body yet.

 

“Alright, everyone, patrol time!” he shouted, turning to the cats approaching the blood-red stones. Harepaw looked like he was about to burst with excitement- he wanted the TangleClan border patrol so badly.

 

“Okay, Berryheart, Dustwhistle, Thrushstorm, I’m putting you three on a hunting patrol near the Smoked Tree. Be careful, though, we saw some kittypets over there a quarter-moon ago.”  
  
“We know,” called Berryheart. “We were the ones on that patrol then, too.”   
  
“Oh,” replied Cinderclaw, feeling embarrassed. “Well, uh. If you see them again, make sure to let me know.”   
  
The cats nodded, purring to themselves. They were quite a cute couple, he thought. Or… triple? He wasn’t quite sure of the term, but either way, they were adorable together.

 

“Bloomgaze, Jaypoppy, Waterfeather; take the SplashClan border.”

 

Bloomgaze’s eyes lit up in excitement; if there was anything that cat loved to do, it was swim. He’d never understand it- swimming was for SplashClan (and TangleClan, but all their cats were just… weird). Waterfeather, on the more ironic side, hated swimming with a passion, but it was always funny to see his sister pad into camp smugly as he returned soaking wet.

 

That was part of the reason that he sent Jaypoppy on the patrol, too. She loved to push her brother into the water- everyone thought it was hilarious except for him. If he was being honest with himself, he was giving Waterfeather his most-hated border to patrol because he saw him eat the fattest mouse before offering it to the elders earlier that day.

 

“Sproutpelt, Foxfur, Deerripple, Charpaw and I will be taking the EchoClan strip, and then going hunting.” He turned to Foxfur, an older warrior, and hesitated. “I mean, if that’s okay with you. I hear you’ve been having back troubles?”  
  
He was only trying to be courteous, but he had clearly offended the orange cat.

 

“No, I’ll be fine,” Foxfur scoffed, flicking his tail and turning his head away. Cinderclaw mentally clawed himself.

 

Harepaw’s eyes lit up as he realized what was coming next. “Does that mean that we get the TangleClan border?”

 

“Yes- you, Porcupineclaw, Burdockblaze, and… hm, I think that’s all, isn’t it?” he teased, before purring softly. “Don’t look so panicked, Harepaw. Of course I wouldn’t forget Featherpaw.”

 

The light brown tom sighed in relief, but not before shooting a half-joking glare towards the deputy.

 

Burdockblaze’s hackles raised. “If those TangleClan fucks have stepped even one paw over our border, I swear-”

 

The tom was quickly cut off by the angered voice of his twin sister, Fluffblaze. “Burdockblaze! Not around my kits!”

 

Sparkkit giggled before hopping around after her sisters. “Ashkit, Brackenkit, you guys be my humble warriors! I’ll be Sparkstar, and momma can be the TangleClan fucks!”  
  
Fluffblaze tried to hush her kits, who were now running in a circle around her shouting all the curse words they’d heard from their uncle. She sent a pointed gaze towards Burdockblaze. “You know I have to deal with this all night, now!”

 

Burdockblaze replied to this by padding out of camp with his tail between his legs. Cinderclaw chuckled; the large tom could put up any fiery personality he wanted, but when it came to his sister, that personality would dim down to an ember.

 

As the patrolling cats started out of camp, Cinderclaw motioned to his own patrol to follow. The EchoClan strip was a small bit of territory, but it was still worth checking. He wouldn’t put it past any EchoClan cats to trespass just for fun.

 

The patrol sent friendly nods to the SplashClan patrol, who they had to pass- it seemed that despite it not being a hunting patrol, Bloomgaze had caught a salmon. The kits in the nursery would surely enjoy it, and maybe it would calm them down and give Fluffblaze a little bit of time for herself. Caring for kits sure seemed to be a pawful, but very fulfilling.

 

Of course, it wasn’t like anyone in the Clan was really a good fit for him. He’d really only fallen in love once, and that hadn’t ended like he hoped it would. So he was content being alone for now, even if the possibility of having kits thrilled him.

 

Suddenly, Charpaw froze, and motioned with a flick of her tail for everyone to do the same. She crouched, her haunches wiggling, and stepped forwards silently. As she took one more step, she launched herself into a bush, and emerged with a thrush still trying to wrench it’s wing out of her jaw. With a swift bite, she broke it’s wing, and then it’s neck.

 

Deerripple cheered for her apprentice. “Well done, Charpaw! Breaking it’s wing would prevent it from escaping into the skies, that was very smart of you!”

 

She acted bashful, but Cinderclaw knew his sister long enough to know that she was drinking in all the praise. “It was just luck, probably! But I think I’m getting better, for sure!”

 

As Sproutpelt marked the borders, and Foxfur and Deerripple engaged in friendly conversation, Cinderclaw gave his sister a playful nudge. “Nice catch! You proud?”  
  
“Yeah! Wisppaw is gonna love this!” she meowed cheerfully through a mouthful of feathers. “It’s her favourite!”

 

Cinderclaw chuckled, but couldn’t help feeling a tinge of worry at Charpaw’s newfound interest in impressing Wisppaw. He only hoped her crush on Wisppaw would fade, because StarClan forbid she’d fall head over tail for a medicine cat. He’d experienced that himself, and that sort of love only ends in tragedy and heartbreak.

 

\- - -

 

The EchoClan border patrol seemed to be one of the last to return, other than the SplashClan patrol. The first thing that could be seen was all the cats mingling and sharing tongues, but Cinderclaw’s eyes fell on a dark tail quickly flicking behind the warrior’s den.

 

A rumbling sensation was urging Cinderclaw to eat, but the curiosity inside him couldn’t be ignored much longer. He needed to find out what his brother was up to, or at the very least, just talk to him.

 

The ashes on the territory’s soil muffled his pawsteps as Cinderclaw crept after his brother. He’d even made sure to use a traditional ScorchClan stealth technique- covering your fur in dark soot to blend into the night. Nightpaw stopped once to hunt a mouse, and Cinderclaw’s rumbling stomach almost gave him away. But instead of eating it like Cinderclaw thought he would, he simply buried it and trekked on.

 

_So he’s not going out at night to break the code to have a midnight snack. I’m not sure whether to be reassured that he isn’t stealing prey from the Clan, or to be afraid that it must be something else._

 

Nightpaw stepped carefully, occasionally turning to check for cats who could be following him. Cinderclaw was thankful for his ashen disguise, and the fact that his pelt was naturally darker, letting him blend into the night. But the deputy almost let out a choked gasp as Nightpaw turned towards the twolegplace.

 

Cinderclaw’s first thought was _StarClan, please no._

 

_Please tell me my brother isn’t sneaking out to be a kittypet._

 

His fur stopped bristling as Nightpaw made no attempt to head into the territory of the twolegs. He gave it quick glances occasionally, but would just continue to walk. The foliage became more thick and less fire-scarred as they walked on, and Cinderclaw feared his disguise would fail him in the lush greenery. Fortunately, it provided excellent cover, which would have to suffice.

 

Meanwhile, his brother seemed to be using the twoleg dens as guides. Nightpaw reached a bright red twoleg den made of stones, and then made a sharp turn into the foliage. The grey cat had to make sure his brother wouldn’t hear him stepping on any plants. It was so much harder to be stealthy when the earth wouldn’t agree with your pawsteps.

 

His heart began to pound as Nightpaw padded further and further into the forest. _This place reeks of TangleClan. Why is he coming over here? Doesn’t he know how much trouble finding a ScorchClan cat’s scent on their territory could cause?_

 

The black tom took one final step before emerging in some sort of clearing. It was foggy, with a small pond holding a few water flowers inside it. A small trickling waterfall made far too much noise in the silence, and it gave Cinderclaw chills. It felt unnatural, as if other Clans were not meant to be here.

 

But Nightpaw seemed perfectly acquainted with the area, and his blue eyes shot around every now and then. Not like he was looking to see if someone followed him, but to see if someone showed up.

 

Minutes passed, and every second that no cat showed themselves Nightpaw began to get angrier and angrier. At around half an hour, he finally snapped.

 

“StarClan damn you, Stempaw! Why won’t you _show up?!_ You know what I gave up for you!” he cried into the foliage. But no cat emerged.

 

As his brother laid down in defeat, Cinderclaw looked at the greenery around him. The ground was littered with shredded leaves- herbs? He had no idea why herbs would be shredded on the floor of TangleClan’s territory. Opening his mouth to try and identify them (though he definitely wasn’t as skilled as a medicine cat, he could still tell if they were relatively dangerous), his mouth began to water. Catmint was rare, he couldn’t for his life figure out why Nightpaw would have found some here and not bring it back.

 

Upon closer inspection, though, he couldn’t find any traces of a plant where the catmint would have come from. And he couldn’t stand watching his brother drag his ashen paws through the pond’s fresh water, waiting for a cat who would predictably never show up. It was time for answers, after so long.

 

“Nightpaw!” the deputy of ScorchClan stepped out, trying to puff out his chest to make himself seem larger and more imposing than he actually was. “What in StarClan’s name do you think you’re doing here?!”

 

The apprentice looked like a deer caught in a monster’s gaze, and was clearly trying to stop himself from fleeing. He attempted to stammer an excuse, but the look on Cinderclaw’s face showed him that his older brother had seen everything.

 

“I was just… coming here to think. It’s pretty here, and easy to relax.”

 

_Oh, so he’s still trying the lies. Well, he’ll find those won’t work for long._

 

“Yes, it is quite stunning,” the deputy boomed. He was clearly trying to seem more wise, and forcing his voice to sound deeper and more powerful. On a better, earlier day, he was sure that Nightpaw would have laughed. But the tom remained silent, causing faint ripples at the edge of the pond with his paws.

 

“Tell me, Nightpaw, isn’t it a good place to think about Stempaw?”

 

Nightpaw stiffened beside him, and the air was tense for a few moments before he spoke. “So, you heard, huh.”  
  
“You weren’t exactly silent,” he mentioned, and Nightpaw slouched.

 

“I know I shouldn’t be here. She’s just a friend from the Gathering, alright? Nothing else.”

 

“You seemed very mad- doesn’t seem like much of a friend if she didn’t bother to show up.” Cinderclaw shot a pitying gaze at his brother. _Am I being a bad deputy, for not taking him to Glowingstar on the spot? But… he deserves a chance to talk._

 

The apprentice’s shoulders shook. “It’s my fault, Cinderclaw.”

 

Cinderclaw rested his tail on his brother’s back. “No, Nightpaw. I’m sure she’s just busy- but you must only talk to her at Gatherings from now on, you know.”

 

“No!” Nightpaw’s head suddenly shot to face the deputy, and Cinderclaw could see tears in his identical blue eyes. “You don’t understand! It’s my fault that Morningpaw is gone!”

 

Cinderclaw tilted his head in confusion. “What are you talking about? He had greencough, nothing could have been done. You aren’t a medicine cat, you’re a warrior. We all miss him, and I’m so, so sorry that he’s gone. If I could bring him back to us, I would, but it’s impossible. He wouldn’t want you to blame yourself for something you had no control over.”

 

“But I did!” the tom cried. “When… when me and Stempaw…”

 

“Take your time,” the deputy encouraged.

 

With a shaky breath, the black tom continued. “When me and Stempaw met at the Gathering, she told me about how a kit in the Clan was sick with whitecough. And she begged me in secret to bring her catmint. And so we met up here, but she kept asking for more and more- first her parent was sick, then her brother, and it just kept piling. And I couldn’t take any more from our territory- there was none left.

 

So I took it from the medicine den. And yet she still kept taking more. And then Morningpaw fell ill, but there was no catmint left. Because TangleClan had it all. And so he got sicker, and then… and then he died. I- I wouldn’t have done it if I had known what would have happened, I swear, Cinderclaw!” he broke off into a sob.

 

Suddenly the remains of catmint scattered around the pond made more sense. “Nightpaw, you know, at the Gathering after the incident, Skunkstar had mentioned how TangleClan cats were thriving, and they thanked one apprentice who found an abundance of a rare herb. They didn’t need it, I think… I think that Stempaw was using you to get her Clan to be more powerful.”

 

Nightpaw’s claws unfurled from their sheaths. “I… but she had said all of those cats were dying…”

 

“I think she lied. I’m so, so sorry. Your heart was in the right place, and her’s wasn’t. I’m so, so sorry.”

 

Cinderclaw was torn up- Morningpaw had died because of a TangleClan apprentice manipulating his brother. And it was also Nightpaw’s fault too, but he couldn’t tell him that- it would break him. He needed to be comforted. And so, comfort him he did.

 

In the night and in the ferns, Cinderclaw held his brother. And they cried together, the eldest feeling more aware of everything than he’d ever been, and the youngest feeling safer than he had in a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as u can see, i got rid of nightpaw being addicted to catmint bc that was just,,, fucking stupid lmao


	4. maybe if you'd drown, you'd be remembered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeehaw theres all the scorchclan intros done!!

Her purple eyes reflected the sunlight so perfectly, in her mind. A wave of air brushed through camp, ruffling her black fur and making her sneeze. She was truly one of the most beautiful cats Charpaw had ever seen.

 

Too bad she was a medicine cat.

 

A ruffling on her head distracted her from her lovestruck thoughts- Cinderclaw was looking down at her, smiling kindly. She shook off his paw and flashed him a smile back. 

 

“How are you doing, ‘claw?” she asked. She hadn’t seen him the prior night after the patrol, which was odd for the deputy. “You didn’t say goodnight to me last night.”

 

He shrugged. “Just went on a walk, no big deal. Sorry if that confused you, I just had to think…” 

 

She narrowed her eyes as he trailed off. He was definitely hiding something from her- and a pang of guilt shot through her as she remembered she was hiding something from him, too. Many things. 

 

It wasn’t in her nature to keep secrets from her older brother- they were close. Their littermates had always been closer to the other, so they found friendship in each other. But sometimes, she had to hide things from him, especially what had happened when she had confronted Nightpaw one stormy night.

 

It was as clear as if it was yesterday. The emotions flashed through her as she remembered it- shock, guilt, worry.

 

_ “What in StarClan’s name are you doing with that, Nightpaw?” _

 

_ Her brother turned around, a bunch of sweet-smelling leaves in his mouth. “Nothin’. Mind your own business, jeez. Shouldn’t you be off bragging to some cat about your latest catch, or something?” _

 

_ “Wow, no need to be a prick.” _

 

_ He had let out a sigh. “Alright, sorry. But seriously, keep your paws in their own prey-pile.” _

 

_ “No, you’ve never been here lately. I want to know. I won’t tell anyone, I swear, I just want to know! I’m worried about you.” she took a few stealthy steps forwards as she spoke to him. _

 

_ “I’m fine, let me do my own thing, alri- augh!” _

 

_ His words were cut off as she pounced on him, pinning him to the ground. The catmint spilled out of his jaw and onto the camp floor. _

 

_ “I’m not gonna hurt you, duh, you’re my brother, but if you don’t explain what you’re doing to me right now, I’ll wake up the whole camp.” _

 

_ “Ugh, you’re so nosy! How did you even pin me down?!” he hissed. _

 

_ “I don’t brag about things I’m not good at, Nightpaw.” she replied with a smug smirk on her face. “Now, you gonna tell me or not?” _

 

_ “Jeez, fine, fine! This is why I hang out with Morningpaw more than you.” he muttered. _

 

_ She had to admit, the words stung a bit, but she forced herself to keep up her smug look. “Oh, stop being a brat and tell me.” _

 

_ “You know how we went to the Gathering two moons ago?” he asked. _

 

_ When she nodded, he continued. “Well, there was this she-cat there-” _

 

_ “Oooh, firefly’s got a crush, doesn’t he?” she teased, earning her a joking swat on the head. _

 

_ “No, shut up!” he flushed. “A kit in her Clan is really sick, with whitecough. And she asked me to grab some so the kit would live. So I’m going to give it to her.” _

 

_ “I… Nightpaw, you know that that’s against the code,” she told him gently. _

 

_ “Well, the code is bullshit! Why shouldn’t we all help each other when we need it? And Charpaw, don’t even try to pull the code excuse- everyone sees how you look at Wisppaw.” he hissed. _

 

_ “Okay, jeez, touchy. And uh, no, I don’t look at her like that. You’re just trying to make me look bad too.” she stood up tall.  _

 

_ “Whatever, alright? I’m not taking from your girlfriend, so you can rest assured that everything is fine.” _

 

_ Ignoring the jab about Wisppaw being her girlfriend, she sighed. “I know you wouldn’t steal from the Clan. I’m just worried about you.” _

 

_ “Don’t be.” he nudged her with his nose, a friendly gesture that she wasn’t used to either of her brothers giving her. _

 

_ “Just stay safe,” she muttered as he picked up his leaves and nodded to her, before exiting the rain-slicked camp in the direction of TangleClan. _

 

“That’s okay,” she finally replied to her older brother. “You can’t say goodnight every time I go to sleep. Did you see Nightpaw when you went out? He wasn’t here last night, but neither were Featherpaw and Harepaw. I think they were on a date.”

 

He shook his head and looked at the ground as he settled down next to her. “No, I didn’t.” 

 

“You don’t look people in the eyes when you lie.” she remarked.

 

His fur began to bristle in worry, but she shrugged. “Don’t worry, I won’t make you talk about it. I’m used to my brothers ignoring me.”

 

His eyes widened, and he stammered out an apology. “No, wait, I didn’t-”

 

She cut him off with a forced laugh. “I’m joking, I’m joking.”

 

In reality, she really wasn’t. Cinderclaw was her only sibling who didn’t really ignore her most of the time- but looking back on Nightpaw’s words once more, she supposed she brought it upon herself.  _ Too nosy and annoying, I guess. _

 

As Cinderclaw’s fur laid back down and he let out a relieved sigh, he followed her gaze to the medicine cat apprentice.

 

“Oh,” he started. “Lookin’ at Wisppaw?”

 

Charpaw let out a huff. “No, I’m just looking into the distance. Jeez, not everything is about her!”

 

“Oh, sorry if I made you defensive,” her brother apologized. There was an awkward silence before he started to speak again.

 

“You know, I totally understand if toms aren’t your pile of ashes, but-”

 

“Oh StarClan, Cinderclaw!” the grey she-cat shoved her face in her paws. “It’s not like that, I swear! We’re just friends!”

 

“Okay…” he trailed off. “Just know, I used to like Mousefire, but she’s a medicine cat. I was really starstruck over her-”

 

“Oh hell no!” she stood up, turning to walk away. “We are not having another brother monologuing about his ex-lover!”

 

She flushed in embarrassment as her brother laughed behind her, and walked awkwardly over to the Crimson Stones to wait for her patrol. Hearing pawsteps behind her, she turned sharply to find her older brother facing her once more. 

 

“Goddamnit, Cinderclaw!” she hissed- though not aggressively. “Can’t you leave me be for one minute?”

 

“Oh, you love me,” he teased. “Also… I kind of have to announce the patrols. I’m the deputy, after all.”

 

“Oh. Right.” she felt like an idiot, but at least Cinderclaw wouldn’t tease her maliciously about it. He was her nicest brother, and they were best friends, after all. And best friends aren’t awful to each other, like Nightpaw was to her.

 

_ Stop feeling so dumb, it’s a new day! _

 

Her brother hopped onto the scarlet rocks, and let out a cry. “May all cats old enough to tame the fiercest embers please gather for patrols!”

 

As the cats padded up, Charpaw felt herself flush. Wisppaw sat down right next to her, their pelts pressing together.

 

“Hi, Charpaw!” the medicine cat greeted. “Ready for your patrol? I’m going on an herb patrol myself, today. We’re still low on catmint, and chervil and yarrow.”

 

_ Oh shit oh shit oh shit.  _ There was a chance that she’d be on a patrol with Wisppaw. Charpaw was excellent at hunting and fighting, but how was she going to impress Wisppaw with her nonexistant knowledge of herbs? There was no chance that she wasn’t going to look foolish!

 

However, she remembered the conversation that she and her brother had had less than five minutes ago. He was suspicious of her liking the medicine cat, there was no way he’d put them together. Of course, it wasn’t as if Charpaw could give off hints of her liking the other cat- she didn’t want to ruin their budding friendship. So, for extra measure, she scooched a bit away from the other she-cat.

 

Her suspicions of her brother keeping her away from Wisppaw for a bit seemed to ring true, as she got placed on a hunting patrol near the SplashClan border, while the herb patrol headed near the twolegplace to find yarrow. SplashClan’s border had a lot of fish, but almost no one in ScorchClan particularly liked fish over land prey. However, many prey animals would come to drink at the river, which gave the cats a good chance to pounce.

 

Something that surprised her, though, was that Deerripple wasn’t on the patrol with her. She let herself feel prideful-  _ Guess I’m getting strong enough in the eyes of my Clan to do things on my own! I’ll be a warrior in no time. _

 

The patrol split up when they heard the sound of rushing water- Dustwhistle and Bloomgaze to the left, and Charpaw and her littermate to the right.

 

An uncomfortable silence seperated the cats from talking. Nightpaw glanced towards Charpaw every now and then, but she’d always flick her eyes away as soon as she caught him looking. She had to admit that curiosity was tugging at her fur, but she didn’t want to talk to him and risk him being as snappy as ever.

 

But finally, her brother broke the silence with a sentence she thought she’d never hear. “I’m sorry.”

 

“What?” she stopped walking with a halt. 

 

“About treating you like crow-food, all the time. Sorry.”

 

“I… thank you.” the she-cat was dumbstruck. “Can I ask what brought this on?”

 

“I told Cinderclaw. About everything. And I figure it’s about time I tell you the whole story,” he spoke.

 

And so he commenced with his tale.

 

\- - -

 

The two apprentices hadn’t caught much due to their long conversation, but Charpaw had managed to catch a fat mole. She had stayed surprisingly quiet while Nightpaw continued his retelling of everything that had happened, but her eyes were cold.

 

Her thoughts continued to race after the revalation.  _ He was stealing herbs from our Clan to give to theirs, and now our brother is dead. He made such an awful choice, and now Morningpaw is gone. It’s his fault. _

 

_ But why do I feel bad? _

 

The answer was quite simple, in the end. She felt as if she could have stopped all this if she’d just called for the Clan when she’d discovered Nightpaw sneaking out. Was it her fault? Could she not have prevented it? At this point, she didn’t know.

 

Nightpaw padded guiltily after her as she dropped the mole in the fresh-kill pile. But she continued to keep silent, forbidding her tongue to utter a single word. If she did open her mouth, she knew she’d speak her thoughts of anger and self-hatred, and she didn’t need to deal with that right now.

 

She would talk to Cinderclaw, but he had kept his knowledge from her too. Sure, he’d gone out on a walk, but he missed a few significant details about that!

 

She considered talking to Wisppaw for only a second, before deciding she didn’t want to dump her thoughts on her.

 

_ I’ve been too close to her lately, I think. She’s gonna suspect something soon, and our friendship will end.  _

 

So she trudged through the burnt sticks and laid her head down on her nest. Batting mindlessly at the feathers tucked into the moss gave her some sense of calmness, but it wasn’t enough to still her racing thoughts. She had a lot to think about, but maybe she could think of them in the morning.

 

\- - -

 

She let out a gasp as a claw raked off of her face. She opened her eyes in terror, looking around the apprentice’s den for whoever attacked her. It couldn’t have been Nightpaw, he was on the other side of the den and fast asleep, as were the others. Her amber eyes widened in fear as she spotted a dim, hulking form in the corner.

 

Blood dribbled from his white paws and onto the floor of the den, and his blue eyes shone brilliantly in the moonlight. The grin on his face widened as he began to fade out, leaving only his bright eyes floating for a quick second before they disappeared as well.

 

Charpaw squinted, making sure that she hadn’t imagined it. When nothing else appeared, she rested her head on her nest once again, and closed her eyes.

 

It wasn’t long after her eyes shut that she felt a cold breeze. It stirred her from her approaching attempt at slumber, and her eyes opened lazily, expecting the familiar look of the apprentice’s den.

 

Water was  _ everywhere. _ It fell through a hole in the stones above, resulting in an endless  _ “plink”  _ against the cavern’s ground. The water droplet would slither over the rocks and attach itself to the water swirling around the cave.

 

Charpaw looked on in awe as the circle of water moved around her yet didn’t get an inch of her wet. It was as if it was cutting her off from the rest of the cave, and silencing her words from the outside.

 

The next few droplets of water didn’t add themselves to the orb, however- they began to drip faster, and after a while, they formed a cat.

 

Charpaw gasped- “It’s you! You were in our den not ten minutes ago! How did you  _ do _ that?”

 

The tom let out a howling laugh, his smile looking much too big for his face. “I’m a very elusive cat, dear! Or should I say… illusive?”

 

She tilted her head. “Illusions? Those are only really mentioned in folklore about StarClan cats for omens and shit.”

 

He snickered, blue eyes scrunching up. “And what do you think I am? What this is?”

 

She took a step back, but a tendril emerged from the water and pushed her back in his direction. “Are… are you StarClan?”

 

He nodded enthusiastically. “I am Strikepool! Of SplashClan, formerly- now, don’t worry, I see your fear plain on your face, but I won’t hurt you!”

 

“You… did. You literally just did- you clawed my face.”

 

“Dear me, that was just for fun! Sometimes I forget how weak and vulnerable kits are.” he laughed.

 

“Hey, I’m not a kit!” she bristled. “I’m gonna be a warrior soon!”

 

“But will you be better than your brother? Nightpaw seems to be bragged to an awful lot, but everyone knows he’s more capable than you at practically everything!”

 

She bared her fangs at Strikepool. “You’re wrong- I’ve been working so hard to be strong!”

 

“You’re not good enough yet.” It was the first time that the SplashClan cat had seemed serious.

 

“... Yet?” she pondered, her ears piquing in interest.

 

He nodded. “I know things- and I’m StarClan, I can see all the Clans, and what they’re doing, whenever I want. Call me a little spy, if you will! I can teach you everything.”

 

Her eyes widened.  _ Everything? I’d be revered… but do… do I want that? _

 

Nightpaw’s face flashed in her mind. Him becoming apprenticed to ScorchClan’s leader, sneaking out and being cool to all the apprentices and kits without doing anything for his Clan. Not having his training pushed back a bit when he would sneak off, because he was “skilled enough” to not need it. Him hissing at her when she asked a simple question, insulting her constantly. While she sat in the background without friends, working as hard as she could and getting no recognition.

 

She didn’t even care that he had apologized earlier- how had she thought that he could make up for ages of hurt with one little sentence?

 

“Tell me more,” she said sternly.

 

The tom’s grin widened as he spoke. “Well, we just need to talk about the terms, first.”

 

He leaned in close to whisper in her face. “We just need to make a deal.”

 

Charpaw sat down, wrapping her tail around her paws. “What is it?”

 

“If I tell you that a cat is dangerous, and needs to be eliminated, you must listen and obey.” the tom smiled.

 

She thought about this for a moment.  _ If a cat is dangerous, then it’d be good for me to take them down, right? And get recognized for once in my life as a hero instead of a littermate to a cat who gets more credit than he deserves? _

 

Strikepool held out his ghostly paw, and Charpaw could see it trembling gently, as if it was a terrible effort to move his limbs. It was odd, since he had seemed so nimble before- but she didn’t think of that in the moment. Instead, she placed her paw on his, and nodded.

 

The agreement was met.

 

“Excellent! I’m so glad that you agreed, dear. Now, for your first lesson. We’ll be doing a bit of trial and error, here.” he spoke, gleeful as ever.

 

With a flick of his tail, the water surrounded her and began to fill the cavern. She coughed in surprise, which only let more water into her lungs. Gasping for breath, she looked at the StarClan cat- who was seemingly fine- in terror.

 

“First lesson, Charpaw!” he cried happily, though since her ears were muffled by water, it wasn’t as clear as he’d have liked. “You must learn to conquer all terrain! Now swim, little she-cat!”

 

She struggled wildly, moving her paws around at random. But the lack of oxygen was getting to her, and her vision was starting to spot with black. The last thing she saw as she took one final, weak attempt at finding the top of the water, was Strikepool’s gleeful face.

 

\- - -

 

“Whoa, what the fuck!” Harepaw’s voice rang out through the apprentice’s den as he looked at the dark grey she-cat coughing up more water than he’d ever imagined.

 

“Featherpaw, get Mousefire!” Nightpaw called, fear in his eyes. His sister was coughing violently, water streaming from every point in her face. He didn’t know how it had happened- there hadn’t been any rain, yet water was gushing out of her mouth, ears, and nose. 

 

It wasn’t long before Featherpaw returned with Mousefire and her apprentice, who looked absolutely terrified. Charpaw glanced up weakly at Wisppaw, water mixing with blood from her throat. Wisppaw turned, horrified, to her mentor, but Mousefire looked as confused as she was.

 

“I don’t understand what’s happening!” Mousefire cried. “Um, I- Wisppaw, fetch moss, and, uh, coltsfoot, maybe grab some honey, too? I just don’t know how to stop the water!”

 

Wisppaw rushed out, her paws taking her as fast as they could. Meanwhile, the flow of water from Charpaw was slowing- only a faint trickle of water spouted from her ears, and the rest was getting thinner and thinner. However, her throat was still bleeding, as was evident from the stained ground.

 

The medicine cat apprentice returned with a large bundle of moss, and before her mentor could say anything, she shoved a bit in front of Charpaw’s mouth.

 

Mousefire looked a bit confused before her eyes lit up. “Excellent, Wisppaw, that should absorb some water! I’ll pat her back- Charpaw, don’t fall down on us, okay?”

 

As the medicine cats worked, Charpaw began to calm down, and her breathing was steady again, albeit laboured. Wisppaw gently edged the coltsfoot and honey into the she-cat’s mouth, and Charpaw meowed hoarsely in appreciation.

 

“How did that happen?” Featherpaw was shocked. “How was that possible?”

 

Charpaw lifted her head weakly to look at the other apprentice. “I think it was StarClan.”

 

Both of the medicine cats shared a look before Mousefire spoke. “You need to sleep in the medicine den tonight- we’ll discuss what happened tomorrow morning.” 

 

The dark grey she-cat opened her mouth to argue, but upon glancing at Wisppaw’s worried face, she shut her mouth, and let the medicine cats lead her into a soft nest in their den.

 

\- - -

 

When she woke up, she already felt better. Her throat had been much less sore, and while her asthma was a bit awful to her (as always), nothing else seemed off about her.

 

“Awake?” A soft voice mewled to her, and Charpaw shot her head around to see Wisppaw right next to her, in a similar nest.

 

“Oh, no, don’t exert yourself!” Wisppaw’s eyes widened. “You had such a rough night, don’t make anything worse!”

 

A small grin flickered across Charpaw’s face. “Aw, you care, don’tcha?”

 

Wisppaw stuck her tongue out at her friend’s teasing, and Charpaw giggled before the two fell into a comfortable silence.

 

“When you’re ready,” Wisppaw began, “Mousefire and Glowingstar want to see you in the leader’s den.”

 

It was clear that Charpaw looked worried, because Wisppaw was quick to comfort her. “No, no, don’t worry! It’s just about what you said last night, about StarClan. I’ll be there too, don’t worry at all!”

 

Charpaw’s fur settled back down, and she nodded before standing up. Wisppaw looked surprised.   
  
“Right now? Don’t you want to rest more?” she meowed.

 

“No time like the present,” Charpaw argued.

 

Stepping outside, the she-cats braced themselves before running through the heavy rain that had started to pour a bit ago. One downside of their camp was that they didn’t have any protection from trees or other things.

 

They slid into the leader’s den, under a large stone, where Glowingstar and Mousefire sat, apparently in a heated conversation. The burly leader turned around and grinned, and Wisppaw waved her tail.

 

“Hi, papa,” she said. “Charpaw’s here to talk to you both.”

 

Charpaw felt a bit intimidated under the gaze of two of the highest-ranking cats in the Clan, but she stood up tall.

 

_ Some day, I’ll be just as good as them. I’ll prove it. _

 

“Alright, Charpaw,” the scarred tom began. “Mousefire has informed me that maybe you’ve had a prophetic dream.”   
  
Charpaw nodded, and he continued. “You are aware that StarClan usually gives prophecies to high-ranking cats, such as the medicine cat or leader, correct?”   
  
She nodded again, keeping her head up high. “Yes, but if you think I was faking it-”

 

“Of course not,” he spoke calmly. “Mousefire saw the whole thing. And she has a few guesses to what it may be.”

 

The brown she-cat stepped forwards. “I have two theories- one is that it could be about the rain today. Even if it wasn’t sent to us, we still had to deal with your omen, which means it could be for us anyways. Second is that SplashClan may be coming soon.”   
  
Charpaw looked at her, not letting the guilt show on her face.  _ No, none of that is true. It’s just Strikepool, not his old Clan. _

 

Glowingstar spoke again. “There has been suspicious activity at the SplashClan border- yesterday, when you went on a hunting patrol, Dustwhistle and Bloomgaze found scent markers in our territory. That’s a sure sign that they’ve been planning something suspicious. So, with the help of them, and your omen last night, we will attack SplashClan before they get to us.”

 

“No!” she cried, before she could consider saying anything else.

 

The leader looked down at her in confusion. “Why not?”

 

“Um, I…” she hesitated. “What if it was an accident on their part?”   
  


“These things are never accidents, young one,” his voice boomed.

 

“Well, I still think that we should wait!” she fumbled with her words. “If we attack them, we’ll be in their territory, and… they’ll have an advantage? But if we, uh…” 

 

Wisppaw spoke up and continued her sentence, which Charpaw was extremely thankful for. “If we sent out extra patrols near their border…”

 

“Yes, that! If we sent out extra patrols there, we would not only potentially scare them off with the amount of scent that we’d leave, but we’d be on our own territory, where  _ we’d _ have the advantage!” the she-cat spoke with excitement. “Don’t you agree?”

 

Glowingstar opened his mouth, but shut it as he considered it. “Hm, I supposed that that’s a good idea as well. Good job, Charpaw.”

 

She soaked in the praise before he continued his sentence. “I see your brothers must be teaching you well, if you’re so skilled in battle strategies already!” he laughed.

 

That definitely put a damper on her mood- it wasn’t always them, she was skilled too!- but she kept her mouth shut and nodded.

 

“I’m going to speak to Deerripple about something now, so I kindly ask that you leave my den.” Glowingstar spoke to the three she-cats, who nodded, spoke some goodbyes, and left.

 

Even with Glowingstar believing that her brothers were the ones to credit for “teaching” her about battle patrols- which was a  _ lie,  _ she was so  _ mad _ \- she still felt prideful. She meowed a “hello, good morning” to a few Clanmates before walking into the medicine cat den to rest more.

Despite her feeling better, there was no way the medicine cats wouldn’t want her to rest.

 

Looking at Wisppaw and Mousefire sorting herbs, she felt a strange sense of calmness.

 

_ I’m skilled, I have a good friend, and I’ll be learning from a StarClan cat. I think… I think I’ll be okay. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> willowswarriors.tumblr.com is technically the blog for this, but tbh i'd love if you guys sent me some stuff on my main too!! its panquadrant.tumblr.com


	5. mistakes run through your veins like a tainted river

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hgfdsfg unrelated but happy karkat day

Fallpaw leapt into the fray, her hackles raised, spitting wildly at her opponents. She raised a claw to a large warrior, barely even touching him with it before he yowled in pain and fled. She let out a brave howl, and her own warriors charged from behind her into the endless stream of cats before her.

 

“Wavepaw, Riverpaw! To my sides!” The apprentice screeched as her friends ran to her left and right. It was as if she was undefeatable- the best warrior in SplashClan!   
  


“Fogpaw, you’ve got this! Take care of the other warriors!” 

 

Fogpaw opened his mouth, but what came out wasn’t anything spectacular- a simple “dude” escaped his throat. He stayed frozen in place, despite all the screaming cats around him.

 

“What?” Fallpaw tilted her head in confusion- why wasn’t her best friend following her orders?

 

“Dude!” Fogpaw spoke again, a bit more angrily this time. “Stop kicking me!”

 

“I… you’re far away from me?” she took a tentative step forwards.

 

“Ow, my fucking eye! Wake up!”

 

_ Oh. _

 

Fallpaw peeled her eyes open to the sight of a very dark cave and the sound of rushing water.  _ Yeah, this definitely makes a lot more sense. _

 

After taking a moment to get her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she turned her head lazily to the form of Fogpaw. His blue eyes were a bit bloodshot from lack of sleep, and he was rubbing his left flank- presumably where she’d accidentally kicked him. Currently, he didn’t look the happiest.

 

“Sorry,” she mumbled sheepishly to the gray tom as she ducked her head down. She turned her body so that she was on her back, facing the ceiling that occasionally dripped a droplet of water. She urged her body to go back to sleep, but her thoughts forced her eyes to stay open. She tried to remember what had happened earlier that night- a game of truth or dare, though she couldn’t think of anything important that happened during it. It was rather boring, so she probably fell asleep during it. What if she’d missed something important?

 

“Psst, Fogpaw!” she whispered. “What did I miss when I fell asleep?”

 

He grumbled as he lifted his head to face the she-cat, but replied to her anyways. He was always the gossip, and she could see her friend’s eyes light up in excitement to talk about the drama that had occurred.

 

He smoothed out the fur on his face that had gone flat from resting on his side before he continued, Fallpaw waiting in anticipation for him to speak. “Dude, Wavepaw  _ totally _ has a crush on Streampaw.”

 

She gasped, her eyes widening. “Oh my StarClan, he’s gonna get his heart broken! Streampaw  _ clearly _ has a crush on Riverpaw, who has a crush on Slippaw- and he’s a medicine cat! This… totally won’t end well.”

 

“I know, right? And yeah, it kind of sucks that Wavepaw likes Streampaw, but still, it’s like we’re the only normal ones in this den anymore!” he complained, rolling his eyes.

 

The silver tabby raised her eyebrows with a smirk on her face. “Oh? And why does it suck that Wavepaw likes Streampaw, hm?”

 

She knew quite well that he liked Wavepaw, but she always took a chance to rub it in. Actually, considering the situation with Wavepaw’s crush, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea, but still- it was fun to her.

 

He hushed her with a glare. “Shh, not so loud! You’re gonna wake him up!”

 

She snorted; she didn’t think that even the cliff tumbling down on top of them would wake the chubby apprentice, but she decided to humour Fogpaw nonetheless. “Aw, Foggie, you know he’d say yes if you asked him! He gets crushes on the daily! Remember when he went to his first Gathering, and he came back swooning over  _ three _ TangleClan cats?”

 

He scowled at her comment, turning his head away. “Do you want to hear about the rest of the stuff that happened, or not?”

 

This piqued her curiosity- she hadn’t suspected that anything else had happened. “Go on!”

 

“Streampaw was dared to steal from the fresh-kill pile. But not  _ any  _ pile.” Fogpaw hushed himself into a whisper, leaning into her ear as if it was top secret. “Crabclaw’s secret stash.”

 

“No way!” her wide blue eyes reflected the moonlight as she spoke. “How did she get that old coot away from his trout long enough?”

 

“She asked Slippaw to get poppy seeds, and she stuffed them into a mouse! Crabclaw’s always been a huge mouse fan, but anyways, he got knocked right out, and she took the whole pile!”

 

“She’s so smart…” Fallpaw sighed, before the next part of the sentence sunk in. “Wait, the whole pile?! Where is it?”

 

Fallpaw was fully invested and awake now- no one had ever dared to ask Crabclaw about his secret stash of fresh-kill, and much less steal from it! The elder always denied it’s existence, though the reek of old, selfishly hoarded fish being thrown back into the river was apparent.

 

“Get this! She was so nervous about it that she ate the whole thing. All. Those. Trout. She doesn’t even like trout! He had, like, three of them- she’s gonna be so sick in the morning, and she’s set for dawn patrol.”

 

Fallpaw winced in sympathy for the she-cat resting on her other side. It certainly wouldn’t end well for her once Crabclaw found out about his lost food- and she’d definitely have to go to Slippaw. At least the apprentices could count on him to not tell anyone.

 

“Anything else interesting?” the tabby pawed the stone on the ground before her friend continued.”

 

“Uh, hm… Oh, yeah! Slippaw ended up joining us after he treated Snakeleaf’s infected paw, because he didn’t wanna miss the game. But he clearly didn’t want to be asked anything, so he always chose dare. Riverpaw ended up finding a great solution, though- she was all like, ‘Slippaw, I dare you to tell us what’s got you all fidgety and anxious!’ and he was all like, ‘Oh, I dunno-’”

 

“What did he say, Fogpaw, get to the point!” Fallpaw was impatient- and the exhaustion was starting to get to her once more.

 

“He said he saw Marshtail at the EchoClan border with the really bright red cat! Y’know, the one that always talks too much at Gatherings? Fidget-something?”

 

“Fidgetsand, yeah! Go on!” The silver tabby was excited to hear about what happened. It must have taken a toll on Slippaw, considering how tight he kept his mouth shut when it came to secrets, but she was intruiged about Marshtail too. Marshtail, the only queen in the Clan, who had gotten chunky without anyone knowing who the other parent could be, seen at the border with an EchoClan tom? This was  _ good _ .

 

Well, technically, for Marshtail it was pretty bad, but it was good gossip for the apprentices to revel in.

 

“Slippaw told us that Marshtail licked Fidgetsand’s face in a real lovey-dovey way, and walked off with a really lovestruck look. And Slippaw had been hiding this from us, like, forever!”

 

“D-” she began, being quickly cut off by her friend.

 

“And no, before you ask, Marshtail didn’t see Slippaw.” he said with certainty. It was clear that Fogpaw was excited, since his tail flicked and accidentally slapped Wavepaw in the face.

 

“Whussah?” he mumbled, barely even gathering the strength to lift his head. He was clearly exhausted.

 

“Oh StarClan, Wavepaw, I’m so sorry!” Fogpaw said, a bit too loudly. Riverpaw raised her head with a hiss, but Streampaw remained fast asleep. Fallpaw raised an eyebrow at him, and he scowled back to her. “Let’s just go back to sleep, okay? All of us.”

 

Fallpaw let her head fall on Streampaw’s shoulder as her eyes shut gently. But before they fully closed, she could’ve sworn that she saw a faint brown figure move quickly past the entrance to the apprentice’s den.

 

_ Eh, it’s probably Murkyfoot or something. _

 

\- - -

 

Stretching her front leg, she groaned as she woke up. The morning was never fun, considering she got the convenient spot of being the only apprentice who’s nest was set directly in the sunlight. The pros were that it was very warm, but the cons were plentiful. Getting rained on, getting sunbeams directly into the eyes… She always wanted to move her nest, but never got around to it.

 

Luckily, today wasn’t a rainy day like yesterday, but the sun did shine into her eyes like a claw across her face. She winced as she got to three paws, and looked around the den, which was now illuminated a bit better than in the night.

 

Fogpaw and Wavepaw were sleeping curled in a ball together, and Fallpaw wished that she could show him this, just for playful mocking purposes.

 

Riverpaw’s nest was empty, as was Streampaw’s-  _ right, they went on the dawn patrol together _ . Fallpaw thought back to Streampaw’s dare last night, and hoped that she was feeling better- or that Crabclaw didn’t murder her once he found out about his stolen prey.

 

With a leap, she popped out of the apprentice’s den and into the SplashClan camp. She could always remember how beautiful it was the first time she saw it- as if it was the most amazing thing she would ever see, and she’d have to hold the memory of it with her forever. Now, it was usual to her, but the beauty didn’t fade.

 

The small rocky mounds that emerged from the stream trickling around them housed excellent dens, and the cliff that covered them from storms that were too harsh did as well. There were a few warriors sunbathing on the hotter rocks, their stomachs exposed to the sky, and Slithertail sat on a taller spire, watching over the Clan.

 

Fallpaw smiled, soaking in the sun (which was much more enjoyable when not piercing her eyes), and taking a deep breath. Despite waking up in the middle of the night, she felt incredibly well-rested.

 

She jumped as a cat padded up behind her. “Oh, hi, Gullheart!” she smiled.

 

Her mentor smiled back, his green eyes sparkling. “Hello, Fallpaw! I see you’ve woken up early!”

 

A sheepish gaze was shot his way. “I’m not the last one out of the den though!”

 

He let out a sharp laugh, cuffing her gently on the shoulder. “It’s almost the middle of the day!”

 

Fallpaw grinned, teeth showing. Her mentor was so fun to be with, and he had promised that they’d go hunting near EchoClan today. 

 

“Now, Fallpaw, I don’t want to let you down, but…” her mentor spoke seriously, which worried her- usually he was very carefree. “We don’t have an EchoClan border hunting patrol today.”

 

Her face fell into a slight frown, but he continued before she could speak. “There was suspicious activity at the ScorchClan border yesterday- our patrols scented far too many cats for a usual patrol. We suspect they’re looking around at the weak spots in our borders, and trying to figure out where to attack. And, if they’re threatening us, well, it’s working. So we’ve been picked to go on a patrol with Currentstar to speak to their leader.”

 

Her eyes widened, and she let out a gasp before jumping excitedly in the air. “Gullheart, that’s  _ so much better _ than some silly old average hunting patrol! This is so cool- are we gonna see their camp? Can I talk to some of the ScorchClan cats? Can I ask them why they don’t swim like we do?”

 

Gullheart chuckled, and started to walk towards Currentstar’s den. “I knew you’d be excited! And, maybe refrain from talking to them, but yes, we will see their camp.”

 

Suddenly, a large black tom emerged from a cave in the cliff. “Gullheart!” 

 

“Yes, Currentstar, I have her.” her mentor smiled, gesturing to his apprentice.

 

“Alright, then!” he grinned- his scarred jaw mangling the expression of happiness a bit. “Are we ready to head out?”

 

Excitedly, she nodded, accidentally shedding a bit of fur on the camp’s stones- which wasn’t unusual for the fluffy cats of the Clan. The leader laughed before gesturing to one other cat to join him- it seemed Bubbleclaw would be on the patrol as well. The black mackerel tabby smiled a bit nervously before she joined the group.

 

As the leader, Currentstar walked at the head of the patrol, but Gullheart and Bubbleclaw flanked his sides a bit behind him. Fallpaw stuck to the side of her mentor as the stream led away from the stones, and into charred land. She coughed a bit as she inhaled the ashes accidentally, and wiped her nose with her paw- which she found had changed from a clean white to smoky grey in the soot as well.

 

_ I’m gonna have to take a real long swim in the stream to get rid of this… _

 

Fallpaw had been excited to go into a new territory at the start, for sure, but as the patrol walked deeper and deeper into ScorchClan territory, she found herself pressing to Gullheart’s side. It was unfamiliar to her, and the only noise at all was the faint rippling as the river joined them on their trek. 

 

She found herself wondering about the quiet of the land. If even their pawsteps were muffled, despite never being on the ashen territory before, how stealthy would cats who had been raised here be?

 

Lifting her head to taste the air, she choked, her cough echoing through the silence. She couldn’t smell anything- it was all covered up with the scent of overpowering smog.

 

“Stop right there!” 

 

The SplashClan cats all turned their heads around, to the side of Currentstar where Bubbleclaw was protecting. She shivered a bit, and Fallpaw could understand why. Looking around, she couldn’t see a single thing. All she saw was soot and charred trees; not a cat anywhere.

 

Currentstar steeled his body and spoke, looking into the distance. He didn’t dare move an inch.

 

“SplashClan would like to discuss some urgent issues with your Clan.” His voice boomed through the land.

 

An uncomfortable silence followed, before Fallpaw noticed a flash of movement. A cat snuck out from around a tree, rubbing soot from across his eyes to reveal a silver tabby pelt. His blue eyes narrowed, and he opened his mouth to say something, but he was quickly cut off by another cat. Fallpaw waited for this cat to wipe away the ash as well, but she soon realized that his pelt was grey- he was naturally camouflaged.

 

“Hold on, Waterfeather,” the grey tom spoke, his blue eyes blinking anxiously. “We don’t want unnecessary trouble- we can escort them.”

 

The silver tabby- Waterfeather- rolled his eyes, but obeyed. “You’re the deputy, I guess,” he scoffed.

 

Currentstar dipped his head to the cat, which clearly surprised them. “So you are the deputy of ScorchClan. My name is Currentstar, and I need to talk to your leader.”

 

Stumbling over his words, the grey cat bowed back to the leader and nodded. “Uh- my name is Cinderclaw. And, yes, Waterfeather and I will escort you to Glowingstar. Follow us, and don’t make any moves of attack. This border has been well-guarded as of late.”

 

Waterfeather nudged Cinderclaw with a hiss, and the deputy’s eyes widened as he realized he may have revealed some information. But if Currentstar heard it, he didn’t remark on it at all. 

 

Fallpaw kept finding herself wanting to ask questions to the ScorchClan cats, but she remembered what her mentor told her.  _ Don’t talk to them, don’t ask questions.  _

 

Cinderclaw took the SplashClan cats to a large wall of charred bracken and wood, and mumbled something to Waterfeather before he stepped into camp. The apprentice made a move to follow the deputy, but Waterfeather hissed at her.

 

“I’m guarding you here for now- if SplashClan cats stepped into camp unannounced, there’d be chaos. Cinderclaw’s just warning everyone, hold your mouse tails.”

 

She flinched back, and the silence was once again uncomfortable before Cinderclaw emerged and nodded to them, before turning back and walking into camp.

 

Fallpaw found it odd how they didn’t use as many words with each other as they did with SplashClan cats- a lot of their communication seemed to be body language. But Waterfeather started walking in, and motioned for them to follow, so they did.

 

A few hushed whispers and gasps could be heard as Currentstar stepped into the camp. Three kits were being held close by their mother, fear in their small eyes. 

 

_ Are they really that scared of us?  _ she found herself wondering.  _ But, then again… I’d be a bit scared if a leader of another Clan walked into SplashClan’s camp after tension near the borders. _

 

Gullheart pulled her closer to him as other cats shot glares at them. Being stared at by all these cats felt like claws across her pelt- they clearly didn’t like her, or her Clan. However, the talk of ScorchClan was cut short as a large grey tom with a scar over his heart emerged from under a tall stone.

 

Yellow eyes matched yellow eyes as the two leaders stared at each other, each one not wanting to make the first move for fear of showing weakness. Finally, ScorchClan’s leader motioned for them to follow him into his den.

 

The cats walked under the rock and into his den, which was much more spacious than Fallpaw had imagined. The other Clan’s leader sat down, and curled his tail around his paws. His eyes were cold as he spoke.

 

“Talk, cousin.”

 

Fallpaw’s eyes widened as she looked back and forth at the two leaders, who, now that she thought about it, did share a resemblance. She opened her mouth to speak, but Gullheart whisked his tail over her mouth before she could utter a word.  _ I guess I’ll ask later. _

 

“I’d say it’s nice to see you, Glowingstar, but frankly, it’s not.” Currentstar said with a calmness in his voice that Fallpaw never would have been able to hold. “You’ve been patrolling the border near our Clan a lot lately. Would you care to discuss that with us?”

 

Glowingstar hissed, narrowing his eyes. “Oh, don’t act so civil, here, and talk as if I’m a kit. You know what’s been happening- after all, it’s  _ your  _ warriors that provoked us.”

 

At this accusation, Currentstar’s eyes widened, and he broke his cool facade. “How dare you insinuate that we’ve been provoking you! We have done  _ no  _ such thing!”

 

“Don’t deny this, Currentstar! We’ve scented your warriors in our territory, marking their borders closer and closer in our territory. Denying this is unacceptable!”

 

Currentstar’s claws slid out, and Fallpaw sucked in a sharp breath. “This is  _ outrageous, _ and SplashClan will not forget such an accusation. In fact, we’ll be patrolling twice as much. Don’t try to battle us, because we will  _ win _ .”

 

Fallpaw looked at both of the leaders in desperation, and before Gullheart could stop her again, she shot forwards in between the two of them. “Wait, wait!”

 

Her leader narrowed his eyes, embarrassment clear on his face. “Excuse our apprentice, she was taken on this excursion for experience. We’ll be going.”

 

“No, let her speak,” Glowingstar spoke, a bit smugly. “I’d like to see if this kit has any better ideas than a leader of a Clan.”

 

As their eyes turned to her, she spoke with confidence. Nothing was more clear in her mind- she had the best idea. “Would you care to show us proof, Glowingstar?”

 

Amusement painted Glowingstar’s face as the apprentice talked to him as an equal, and not a leader. But eventually, he seemed to think about it. “Actually… young kit, what is your name?”

 

“Fallpaw.” She lifted her head high. “And I think that maybe if we had proof of our warriors trespassing, it could be considered, and we wouldn’t have to fight.”

 

“That’s a splendid idea, firefly. What do you think, Currentstar?” 

 

She had spent so much time watching the ScorchClan leader’s reaction that she hadn’t paid attention to Currentstar whatsoever. As she turned to him, she shrunk under his gaze- he was  _ furious.  _ His fur was bristling and his nostrils flared, but she quickly realized that it wasn’t aimed at Glowingstar.

 

He was mad at  _ her _ .

 

“Insinuating that our warriors could have done something wrong is absurd, Fallpaw. Glowingstar, we are leaving- stay clear of our land. Fallpaw, we will discuss your punishment afterwards.” he hissed, before stalking out.

 

Fallpaw took one last glance at the cat with a scar over his heart before following her mentor out. Gullheart was silent, and refused to look at her. Bubbleclaw shot a pitiful look towards the apprentice, but soon turned away. 

 

Meanwhile, the cats of ScorchClan were still discussing their visitors, and hushed as they emerged from Glowingstar’s den. Fallpaw found herself avoiding their gazes once more, only looking up to make sure she didn’t run into something. 

 

However, it was clear that she hadn’t paid attention enough, because she stumbled as a grey wall of fur collided with her. The cat in front of her dropped something, and it sent ash flying into the air.

 

“You mouse-brain, you made me drop my thrush!” the cat hissed.

 

Blinking, Fallpaw looked at the cat in front of her. She was very pretty, with shining amber eyes- which were now narrowed angrily at her. But what she saw next to the cat, laughing along, scared her more than anything she had experienced today.

 

She forgot to ask Currentstar about his relations with ScorchClan’s leader, she forgot about the camouflage of the cats, she forgot about Streampaw feeling ill, and she forgot about Marshtail going to the EchoClan border to talk to a warrior from their Clan.

 

She forgot about everything on her mind, because the only thing her scared eyes could focus on was  _ him. _

 

He grinned, a terrible smile that stretched to his eyes. Or, eye- one was limp and had twigs stabbing it, and it was bleeding profusely. His white fur was stained crimson, and his legs seemed to be shattered in every possible place. His- his  _ organs _ \- seemed to spill out of his stomach, and as she looked him in the face, she found herself growing ill.

 

She choked back vomit as she shoved herself past the grey cat, who was now yelling angrily after her, and she didn’t stop running until she caught up with the patrol that had gone ahead without her.

 

Gullheart looked at her suspiciously as she arrived next to him, but she was too busy focusing on the indescribable feeling she was experiencing to care. That cat knew something she didn’t, the way he looked at her… did the grey she-cat even know he was there? 

 

Padding into camp, she made a move to run to the apprentice’s den- surely Fogpaw would be in there. But she was stopped with a swat on her head, making her tumble to the stones with a yelp. Above her stood Currentstar, who had a look of fury on his face. Cats were beginning to gather around the spectacle, and Fallpaw felt her face flush with embarrassment.

 

“How dare you step out of line in front of your leader! How dare you make our Clan look like a kit’s play-den to the Clan we were trying to reach an agreement with? How dare you speak over me and give Glowingstar the impression that we are led by  _ fools?!” _

 

He had her pinned down, his large paw crushing down on her head. But she didn’t back down. “Currentstar, please, I didn’t want us to declare war without proof-”

 

“Silence!” he growled loudly. The Clan cats who were in camp were looking on in silence, but a few worried glances were shot her way from the crowd. “Insinuating that our warriors are not all loyal would be against the code. You know how close to the code we are in SplashClan, do you not?”

 

Against anyone’s better judgement but her own, she spoke. “If Glowingstar is your cousin, but he’s in ScorchClan, doesn’t that mean that you’re kin with someone who went against the code? But you’re still leader, and-”

 

“Silence, rogue-born!” he hissed. The words made her pelt crawl- she never liked being reminded of her heritage. “You’re lucky I don’t kick you out of our Clan on the spot!”

 

She froze, as did many other cats looking on.  _ He wouldn’t, would he? Other cats have surely done worse than I just have, and he hasn’t exiled anyone since before I came here… _

 

“Currentstar, please,” Gullheart stepped forwards with worry brimming in his eyes. “I will find a suitable punishment for her- you’re upset, and overreacting. Just ask Runningstripe.”

 

Currentstar turned towards his mate, who looked at him with tints of anger, and he seemed to shrink under her gaze. 

 

“Currentstar, she’s just a fry, you know other cats have made mistakes such as this, even you. You’re overreacting, as Gullheart said. Stop this.” Runningstripe held her head high.

 

The leader looked down at the apprentice, who’s head was still under his paw. He seemed to realize what he had done, and looked around guiltily at the crowd before removing his paw from Fallpaw, who let out a relieved gasp. She remained on the ground, however, not wanting to test his anger.

 

He turned around swiftly, his muscles rippling under his fur, and looked back to the Clan. “I will be in my den if I am needed. I must think about some things.”

 

As he stepped into the den, Fallpaw stood on her paws shakily, thanking Gullheart and Bubbleclaw as the cats helped her up. Gullheart licked her ear to comfort her, but the she-cat remained shaken up.

 

“We will have to discuss a punishment for speaking out of line, but you… you should get some rest. Go to sleep, Fallpaw,” her mentor said, disappointment in his voice.

 

She simply nodded, cringing as she felt a headache coming on. Riverpaw, who had seen what had happened, tried to rush forwards and comfort her, but she ignored her, slipping into the apprentice’s den. 

 

She laid her head down gently on the floor, careful not to hit it once more. Tears started to fill her eyes as she thought of the day’s experiences.

 

_ It was supposed to be fun,  _ she thought.  _ But I… somehow I did something wrong by trying to help and got in trouble. _

 

_ It wasn’t my fault. _

 

\- - -

 

She nuzzled the sleeping apprentice, licking away her tears and snuggling around her. She frowned as Fallpaw got a chill, but she soon stilled, and began to purr as she dreamt. 

 

The blind cat smiled at the silver tabby softly. She had never had kits, nor wanted them, but she had watched over this one for a while, and found herself growing fond of her. As if she was her own kin.

 

A cough wracked her body, and she hacked blood onto the floor of the apprentice’s den. She had better clean that up, lest Fallpaw saw it in the morning- no one else would.

 

She stood to her paws, trembling slightly as she turned her head one last time to the sleeping cat. And as she walked away, Doehorns disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> splashclan.......... is strict. anyways the tumblr for this blog is willowswarriors.tumblr.com and my main is panquadrant.tumblr.com, hmu w questions abt these cats!!


	6. a lover you could've had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeehonk now onto echoclan's cats!!! if you weren't clear on this- the pov of this story will change from cat to cat. so far we have pumpkinsneeze, whimsywillow, cinderclaw, charpaw, fallpaw, and marshtail. i wonder who will be the next cat?? actually i dont wonder, and if you've read my old copy of willows then you won't wonder either. but oh well, i already have more words here than there anyways enjoy

His heart rose to this throat as he heard the apprentices speaking about him. Slippaw had seen him, and now he was  _ doomed _ to be exiled. Everyone knew Currentstar’s stance on half-Clan kits, and he wasn’t the only one in SplashClan who had those ideals.

 

To say the very least, Marshtail was panicking. Fidgetsand’s fur was bright red, and no cat in his Clan had a red pelt. He wished he’d fallen for a cat who wouldn’t stand out so much, but… well. That hadn’t been the case. His kits would look just like Fidgetsand, and his mate could get kicked out of EchoClan. He couldn’t do that to him, he just  _ couldn’t. _

 

Slipping out of camp, he traversed the cliffside that gave cover to SplashClan and spread into EchoClan territory. He carefully padded up the stones, making sure his belly didn’t hit anything on the way to the border.

 

Finally, he reached the brook that ran down the rocks, where SplashClan’s territory ended and the cave-dweller’s began. And standing there waiting for him, peering out of a bush as he always did, was Fidgetsand, who popped out with a smile on his face as soon as he saw Marshtail.

 

He always got starry-eyed when he saw his tunneller- the tom was covered in dust and dirt and a few stray twigs, but his grin was so wide that Marshtail couldn’t focus on anything else but his face. It glowed with love and happiness, and Fidgetsand leapt over the small stream to nuzzle his mate.

 

Between his face being licked, he tried to speak, but Fidgetsand just kept smothering him. “Marshtail, I was so worried that you wouldn’t show up!”

 

“I know, my pearl, but-”

 

“How was your day? Are the kits well? Have you been eating alright?”

 

“Fidgetsand, I have to tell you something-”

 

This cut the red tom off, his eyes filling with concern. “What’s wrong? Now that you mention it, you look… stressed. Are you okay?”

 

He steeled himself before telling his mate about the scenario they faced. “The apprentices all know, and it won’t be long after I kit that everyone else will too. My kits aren’t safe in SplashClan- they’ll be mistreated, you know how it is there!”

 

“Shh, calm down. Are you sure they know?” Fidgetsand murmured.

 

“Yes, I guess Slippaw saw us once, and…” he trailed off into a whisper before opening his mouth again. “I want to come to EchoClan with you, before it’s too late. For me, or our kits.”

 

Marshtail tried to pretend that he didn’t see the look on panic cover his mate’s face- but he noticed, and Fidgetsand made no attempt to cover it. His gaze didn’t waver as he spoke.

 

“You can’t.”

 

He was shocked at his words- surely Fidgetsand would want him and their kits to be safe? And if they were in one Clan, they could see each other every day, without having to hide their love. It seemed ideal for their situation.

 

“Why not?” he asked.

 

Fidgetsand seemed to stutter. “Well, you’re a SplashClan cat, and we don’t have many places to swim in EchoClan.”

 

“I’ll be fine, but I love you for our concern,” Marshtail said, trying to lick his mate’s face to comfort him. But Fidgetsand reared his head back.

 

“But you’re close to kitting, they’ll  _ know _ I had an interclan relationship-”

 

“And we will give EchoClan new warriors, and raise them to tunnel rather than swim. Of course I’ll feel bad leaving SplashClan, but it’ll be worth it to live the rest of my life with you and our kits-”

 

“Stop it, Marshtail! Don’t you get it? You can’t come!” His tone was desperate. “You’re fine in SplashClan right now, and if worse comes to worse then we’ll make a plan, but we just  _ can’t  _ right now. Please.”

 

Marshtail choked back a sob.  _ Am I really so bad, that he only wants me with him as a last resort? Why is he yelling, I… I thought he’d want this. He always spoke of living together, but maybe it was just a hypothetical dream for him. _

 

In the time he had zoned out, Fidgetsand had turned himself towards the border. “I’m going back to camp, Marshtail. Goodnight, I love you.”

 

Usually, those words would be filled with love, but tonight they seemed cold and emotionless. His tone was set in the same stones that his Clan treasured.

 

Once Marshtail was sure that he had gone, he glanced down at the rocks under him. New life was sprouting from between the cracks, and eventually the tiny sprouts would bloom into a tall tree, or a small bush.

 

Marshtail didn’t feel like giving it that chance.

 

He clawed at the plants with a hiss, throwing some rocks around in his tantrum.  _ It’s not fair! It’s not fair that we were born in seperate Clans! We should be able to love each other without any conflict breaking loose! _

 

He sat down in his newly-formed chaos, looking at all the plants he had destroyed. A single tear dripped onto a stem, travelling down it until it hit the ground with a slight dripping noise. He hung his head down, looking down the same cliff that he traversed every night. He met Fidgetsand here, and only here. Because there was nowhere else that was safe enough for them to meet. It wasn’t  _ fair. _

 

That night, he cried himself to sleep on the crags high above the world.

 

\- - -

 

“Hey! What are you doing here!”

 

His head shot up, and he blinked himself awake. His eyes were crusty with dried tears, so it was a bit hard to focus for a bit. He turned his head towards where he had heard the sound, and he eventually noticed a brown and peach tom hissing at him. This wasn’t a SplashClan warrior- right, he had stupidly fallen asleep near the border.

 

“You better scram, fish-pelt! I oughta-” the cat growled, before suddenly shooting his head up.

 

Yowls could be heard in the distance, echoing faintly. The tom shot a warning glance at Marshtail before hurrying up the mountain, and into a small hole in the rocks.

 

He tilted his head in confusion, not knowing what that could have been about, but eventually turned tail to make the trek back to SplashClan. He should probably hunt first- give him an excuse for being out so late.

 

He spent his time on the way back to camp hunting, and he figured that a salmon and a hare would be more than enough to satisfy Currentstar. As he finished snapping the neck of the hare, his head shot up in panic. A snapping noise clicked out from behind him, and he swivelled, turning face to face with his leader.

 

“Currentstar!” he cried, dropping the rabbit from his jaws. “I was just-”

 

“With an EchoClan cat, Marshtail? You were always so dedicated to our Clan, I almost couldn’t believe it.” Currentstar stalked forwards, his muscles rippling over his s-  _ wait. _

 

His shoulders weren’t scarred; the scar was large, and should be visible from every angle of his body, so it definitely wasn’t just a mistake on Marshtail’s part.

 

“Where is your scar?”

 

The leader’s eyes widened, before he… disappeared.

 

Marshtail blinked slowly, mouth agape. Currentstar had been right in front of him, yet all that remained was fog.

 

_ I’ve definitely got to get home earlier, if I’m losing so much sleep meeting with Fidgetsand that I hallucinated that! _

 

As he picked up his prey, his pelt still wouldn’t calm himself. Somehow, he had the strange feeling that what he’d seen hadn’t been a hallucination, but- that was impossible. So he shook himself and set off towards camp once more.

 

Stepping down onto the smoother rocks near camp, his eyes shot to the noises suddenly stemming from camp. Or rather, the lack of noise. SplashClan cats weren’t known for being talkative- that was moreso TangleClan’s reputation- but it shouldn’t be this silent. 

 

Almost as soon as he noticed the silence, a voice rang out through the territory. Marshtail recognized it as Currentstar, and a tension he hadn’t realized he’d been carrying suddenly dropped from his shoulders. There was no way the cat he’d seen could have been Currentstar, if he was in camp before him. It was just his mind playing tricks on him all along.

 

“... loyal would be against the code. You know how close we are to the code in SplashClan, do you not?” Currentstar’s voice rang again. 

 

Marshtail’s fur began to prickle on end almost as soon as it had stopped. Currentstar was mad, and some cat in the Clan was being punished for it.

 

He slunk into the entrance, thankful that no one noticed him- they were too busy crowding around the cats in the clearing. He dropped his prey into the pile before joining the group, and he sucked in a gasp. 

 

The rogue-born’s- no, Fallpaw’s- head was being held to the ground by Currentstar, who was yowling at her, before Gullheart stepped in. It seemed as if he was challenging the leader, who only padded off after his mate spoke to him.

 

The world felt muffled to Marshtail as the cats disbanded, leaving him standing watching Fallpaw struggle to her paws. Two warriors helped her up, and Gullheart spoke to her in a whisper. He looked on in disappointment as she rushed to the apprentice’s den, almost tumbling over a rock in her travel. She was clearly shaken up by whatever had happened, and Marshtail felt sorry for her.

 

“Did you hear what happened, Marshtail?” a voice called to him.

 

He almost jumped out of his pelt from the sudden noise breaking him from his thoughts, but he turned towards his friend anyways. Seaeyes stared at him with wide eyes, their paws twitching anxiously. As always, Marshtail found himself lost in their stunning teal colour. Not in a romantic way- everyone thought Seaeyes was a blessing or an omen from StarClan when they were born, due to the dazzling unusual colour. But in the end, Seaeyes was just a normal cat- a cat who very much wanted to talk to Marshtail.

 

“No, I was hunting,” Marshtail replied.  _ It’s not technically a lie if half of it is true. _

 

“Oh, nice! Anyways, apparently Fallpaw spoke out of line to ScorchClan’s leader,” Seaeyes rushed, before glancing empathetically towards the apprentice’s den. “Poor fry, I hope she’s alright. She looked pretty scared up there. Currentstar was threatening her with exile- though everyone knows that he was biased. After all, she’s a rogue’s kit.”

 

Marshtail’s eyes went hazy during Seaeyes’ sentence- she was threatened with exile, for simply speaking out of line, or doing something against the code accidentally? What would Currentstar do to a SplashClan cat who had been going against the code for months now, and was expecting kits who were a product of that?

 

He shivered, glancing apologetically to Seaeyes. “I’m sorry, I think I’m getting some pregnancy illness, excuse me. I should go lie down.”

 

Seaeyes nodded, licking their friend on the ear. “Feel better, Marshtail! I’ll leave you be- me and Swiftfur are going to go hunt.”

 

Marshtail smiled at his friend as they padded off to speak with their mate, who smiled at Marshtail before intwining her tail with her mate’s. They were a cute couple, and the brown tabby felt a pang of regret that he couldn’t casually go hunting with his mate.

 

Stepping into the nursery, he winced at the leaking ceiling. The cavern had a certain problem with flooding- personally, he didn’t think it was safe for the kits, but it was always the nursery, and always would be.

 

The dropping water hit the cave’s floor as he laid down in a nest, creating an eerie echo. He missed the warrior’s den; the nursery was so lonely, and frankly, creepy. If you asked anyone in SplashClan, they’d all have their personal stories about spooky experiences in this den. But none was more terrifying than the story that his mother told him when he was just a kit, sleeping in the very same den.

 

\- - -

 

_ “He was an evil cat,” Slithertail whispered in hushed tones. “His name was lost to time, and not even I know it, as this story was passed down to me as well. They say he had strange powers that drove him insane.” _

 

_ “What happened, mama?” Pikekit asked, her tail curling around herself in fear. “What did he do to make him evil?” _

 

_ “He used his powers to sneak into the nursery, and killed all the kits within. He had been speaking for days about how they were all cursed, but everyone just thought he was joking about them being annoying. It turns out that he believed StarClan had sent him a prophecy, and that he had to kill them- but he was just a simple warrior. StarClan never would have sent an average warrior a prophecy.” _

 

_ “That’s so scary! What happened to him?” Scalykit’s eyes were wide in fear.  _

 

_ “SplashClan chased him up the cliffside, and he was cornered at an entrance to EchoClan’s territory. He was about to run in, but a cat from our Clan had gotten ahead of him, and climbed up the mountain. Her name was Curlyreed, and she was a queen. They say that the anger of losing her kits filled her with the strength to push a large rock off of the mountainside, and the evil cat had his legs crushed as the rock fell on top of him. _

 

_ It didn’t quite kill him, but it trapped him, and the queens who had lost their kits had him torn to shreds after they were through with him. It’s said that he still walks around these caverns with kit blood staining his paws.” Slithertail finally finished, chuckling as her kits squeaked in fear.  _

 

_ She cuddled them close to her, licking their heads soothingly. “Don’t worry now, children. It’s just a nursery tale, and I will protect you, no matter what.” _

 

\- - -

 

This was the only thing he could remember in this haunting place, and it shook him to the core every time. Fearing the monster from the story would harm his kits, he drew his tail around his belly, trying to protect his stomach.

 

He shivered, curling into a ball to keep warm. The dens in SplashClan were always so cold.  _ I wonder what the dens are like in EchoClan. _

 

Of course, now that he’d seen what happened to Fallpaw for simply speaking out of line, he knew that he couldn’t stay here. Fidgetsand said it had to be a dire situation, and this was pretty dire. He would have to bring this up tomorrow night- there was no time to go this evening- and they would make plans for his escape.

 

Maybe he’d say he just needed to go hunting to ease his mind off of the kits- it had worked before. He could take some of his fur- after all, it was always shedding- and place it… near the river? He was an excellent swimmer, they wouldn’t believe that he’d drowned. But maybe if he put the blood of a prey animal near the stones, they would think he hit his head? Yes, that seemed rational.

 

He fell asleep to the steady flow of his thoughts, and the trickle of water that rained down continuously. And when he finally drifted off, he felt secure. He and Fidgetsand would finally have the life they’d always dreamed of, without having to hide who they were. It would just take a few more days.

 

\- - -

 

His eyes flickered open at a small cry, and he yawned as he stretched his paws in front of himself. 

 

_ It must be a queen kitting or something, go back to sleep. _

 

He shut his eyes once more, and felt his breathing slow into a steady rhythm, before he realized a shocking truth.

 

_ I’m the only queen in our Clan. _

 

He jumped to his paws, hazel eyes wide as he looked around frantically. He could hardly see, and he had a strange sensation that he wasn’t in the nursery anymore. But again, that was impossible…

 

A cry rang out from behind him, and he swivelled, coming face to face with three bright red kits. Three bright red kits, crying for  _ him _ .

 

“Papa, papa, save us!” The first kit cried out, before a large black paw grabbed it by the neck, choking it.

 

Marshtail screamed, trying to move forwards, but it was as if there was an invisible barrier between him and what could only be his kits.

 

The first kit’s eyes- eyes that looked so much like his own- met Marshtail’s in a desperate look of panic before rolling back in it’s head. The queen sobbed, clawing at the barrier in anguish.

 

The other two kits didn’t look fazed by their dead littermate next to them- they just kept staring at him, mouths moving as if they weren’t fully aware of what was going on.

 

“Save us, Marshtail!” 

 

“We trusted you, papa!”

 

“You trusted that you’d be safe here!”

 

“But you lied! You lied to us!”

 

Marshtail covered his ears with his paws, falling to the earth. The cries were overwhelming him, making him sob.  _ I couldn’t save them. I couldn’t save them I couldn’t save them why couldn’t I save them- _

 

Suddenly, the noise stopped in it’s place. He tentatively looked up, and gasped as one kit’s throat was slit. It laid on the ground, twitching before it’s life faded as well. The only kit that remained sat still in a puddle of it’s kin’s blood. It was silent, blue eyes trained on Marshtail.

 

It finally spoke, sounding much too wise for it’s age. “It’s not worth it, papa. If you leave, you won’t find what you’re looking for. If you give us away, you and daddy will be safe. We’ll be gone, but that will be okay. You don’t need us, you need your Clan.”

 

With that, it closed it’s eyes, and waited for the black paw to take it as well. And it did- snapping it’s neck with a sickening  _ crack _ . But the paw didn’t disappear into the darkness as it did the other times- it emerged from the shadows, filling Marshtail with terror.

 

“You know how half-Clan cats are, Marshtail,” Currentstar spoke in a steady tone. “You were raised on these ideals.”

 

He took a step forwards, and Marshtail took two back.

 

“You knew this, and yet you ran off with a EchoClan cat.”

 

Another step, another step.

 

“If you stay, and give away your kits, EchoClan won’t tell. I won’t know anything. But if you stay, I will kill you, your kits, and if I ever meet him in battle, your mate. I know that you will make the right choice.”

 

The leader stepped forwards, placing a huge paw around the frozen queen’s neck. He leaned in and whispered to her in a chilling tone.

 

“After all, what would your family think? Your friends? If you leave to EchoClan, you will have no one. Not even him.”

 

The paw tightened, claws unsheathing-

 

Marshtail woke up.

 

\- - -

 

He screamed, writhing in his nest. It still felt like claws were cutting off his airflow, claws of the leader that led him. Cats began to wake up outside, but Marshtail didn’t care. He was  _ terrified. _

 

A she-cat rushed in- Gurglingstream, with Rushingleaf on her tail. 

 

“Marshtail, are you okay?! I called Rushingleaf, they-” Gurglingstream was cut off by the medicine cat.

 

“I thought that you were kitting,” they said, placing their paws on Marshtail’s belly. “But it seems it was just pregnancy pains, from the way you’re holding yourself.”

 

The mention of pregnancy scared the tom- after he kitted they’d  _ know _ \- but he nodded. He let the cat take care of him, feeding him a few poppy seeds for the pain, and let his head droop to the floor after they left.

 

_ Is it true, what the dream was telling me? To protect my kits, do I have to give them to EchoClan… and stay here? _

 

Tears flowed freely from his eyes, glancing at his belly.

 

_ Three. Three kits who would die by the hands of my strict Clan. If I sent them to EchoClan, I could stay and- no! _

 

He hissed to himself, filling with a sudden anger. “They can’t tell me what to do with my life! If that was StarClan sending me an omen, then fuck your omen! It’s my life, my mate,  _ my  _ kits, and I’m going to reward myself for all my horrible luck by actually getting something good out of this existence I’m in!”

 

He jumped as a cat spoke tiredly from the direction of the warrior’s den. “Whoever’s mumbling over there, please stop. I’m trying to sleep.”

 

He ducked back into his nest, his face flushing. Well, even if he’d accidentally woken someone up, his words still rang true to him. It was his life, and some petty ghost cats who didn’t approve of interclan relationships could eat dirt if they disagreed with him.

 

He was going to EchoClan, no matter what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, tumblr is panquadrant.tumblr.com but the SPECIFIC tumblr for this blog is willowswarriors.tumblr.com, and we track the tag #willows warriors
> 
> so like, if u have fanart,,,, side eye emoji

**Author's Note:**

> yeehaw, that concludes the rewrite of chapter one!!!


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